


Lie To Me

by mochicheekies



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Age Difference, Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, Bottom Byun Baekhyun, Breaking Up & Making Up, Crying, Domestic Fluff, Drunken Kissing, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Eventual Happy Ending, Eventual Smut, Fights, Fluff and Smut, Getting Back Together, Heavy Petting, Idiots in Love, Love Confessions, M/M, Making Out, Meant To Be, Misunderstandings, Mpreg, Post-Break Up, Rough Kissing, Sloppy Makeouts, Smut, Surprises, Top Park Chanyeol, Unplanned Pregnancy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-07
Updated: 2020-12-07
Packaged: 2021-03-08 23:26:50
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 28,898
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27384916
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mochicheekies/pseuds/mochicheekies
Summary: If some people were showered in luck and love, Baekhyun truly wasn't one of them.There had been a time where he had thought that everything played in his and Chanyeol's favor, for them to be together and most importantly, happy, only for it to be ruined.But sometimes there were second chances, sometimes there was still a small glimpse of hope and for once, he decided to risk it. Risk it all for the one thing he always had wanted.
Relationships: Byun Baekhyun/Park Chanyeol, Do Kyungsoo | D.O/Kim Jongin | Kai, Kim Junmyeon | Suho/Oh Sehun
Comments: 29
Kudos: 187
Collections: #𝓑𝓪𝓫𝔂𝕄𝕒𝕜𝕚𝕟𝕘𝕱𝖊𝖘𝖙𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟎, Best Of CB's Fic, My's Marked Read Cb's





	Lie To Me

**Author's Note:**

> Code : BMF098/2020  
> Pairing : Baekhyun/Chanyeol  
> Carrier : Baekhyun  
> Pregnancy : Pre/during pregnancy  
> Babies : Any of the two (Only one or More than one)
> 
> Prompt : Both Chanyeol and Baekhyun decided to put an end to their relationship. However, a few months after the breakup, Baekhyun suddenly shows up at Chanyeol's doorstep with tear stained cheeks and a visible baby bump. 
> 
> ___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
> 
> Hello and welcome to Baekhyun's and Chanyeol's story, on how they found each other and fell in love.  
> I would like to say a few things before you can relax and dive into this story! OH and hopefully enjoy it!  
> To my prompter, I immediately fell in love with this plot you wrote and I sincerely hope you will like what I came up with! Maybe it is not what you had expected but I would love it if you like the way it turned out!!  
> To my beta, thank you for keeping up with me and my maniac need of changing the whole story at least 5 times and thank you for editing and being honest with me. Without you, this would still be a mess.  
> Last but not least, those who decide to read this story! I already thank you for giving it a chance and I sincerely hope you will enjoy this rollercoaster of emotions. Sending love and hugs <3
> 
> P.S: Both the title and storyline were inspired by the song " Lie to Me" by 5 seconds of summer. If you are in the mood, listen to it while reading! <3

** Lie To Me **

Cold. 

The rain was bone crushing cold. Heavy droplets splashed down from the sky onto the asphalt he was walking on, leaving the noises to get lost in between his heavy breathing. 

He could feel the water soaking his hoodie and dampening his skin, as well as his pants and the inside of his shoes. 

It was uncomfortable, but he couldn't care less when his whole body was feeling numb anyway. Even hands that were far too cold to be able to warm up properly. 

Soft brown hair sticking to his forehead and leaving the droplets of rain to fall onto the bridge of his nose down to his lips. 

At this point, he couldn't differentiate between tears and rain. It felt the same. Burning hot trails down his cheeks and neck. 

Worry eating him up. 

Ignoring the eyes on him from several people that crossed his way, he knew he must have looked crazy. 

They were all holding up their umbrellas like some shelter. Rain wandering over the material of it like passing through a labyrinth. 

His feet met the asphalt harshly, splashing up the water that was already starting to collect on the uneven streets. 

He shivered. 

Now that he paid attention to his surroundings, he realized how cold it was. How cold his body actually was. 

Wrapping one hand around his stomach, he caressed the slight bump while continuing his way until he stood in front of a big apartment complex. 

Most of the lights in the house were turned off. Only one soft dim one shown through the left window, leaving his nerves to heighten. 

_He is home_. 

Standing there completely soaked, he took several seconds to find his confidence once more. It was crazy how fast it could disappear, but in a blink of his eyes, he moved closer to the big wooden door. 

Fingers hovering over the doorbell for a while, he finally pressed it until he could hear the ring. 

His heartbeat quickened especially when he could see the lights being turned on one by one. 

With every new one, his hands shook even more. 

Until he froze. 

Completely. 

Watching the door being opened, the first thing he saw was the chest of the other. Letting his eyes wander up to his face, there was still a good distance between them, but it didn't prevent the emotions welling up. 

Dimples still as deep and eyes still as big and warm. But he looked tired and sad. 

Depressed almost. 

It made him only sob harder while watching the taller's eyes wander down to his belly and up again. 

"Baekhyun."

"Chanyeol." 

* * *

_Exactly one year ago_

With the leaves rustling in the trees and the loud bustling all over campus, it truly seemed to start feeling real. 

College always had been the one thing he had been most excited about, but it also scared him. New people, places and subjects. 

He hated having to get used to things, and that was also why he stood there now, in front of the main counter, hands fiddling with a loose string of his pullover, eyes blinking more than once within the span of a few seconds. 

" Here you go. The keys to your room. If you pass the hallway, you will see it on your left. Your roommate is in his second year, so he will be able to explain everything to you." 

" Thank you very much!" 

College itself was an adventure, but doing everything for the first time and alone on top of that, left Baekhyun ridiculously nervous. The glasses his mom had bought for him were sliding down his petite nose over and over again until he just gave up and walked towards the direction he was told. 

It was early in Spring, leaving him to wear an oversized pullover and loose jeans. The car ride had been over two hours, so his soft brown hair was ruffled from his nap. 

He didn't care, though. 

Standing in front of his new room and unlocking it, the last thing he would have expected would have been two guys heavily making out against a wall, but that exact thing happened, making him let go of the suitcase he was holding. 

The loud noise made the other two jump apart, and Baekhyun blushed heavily. 

Because not only was this extremely embarrassing, but also he felt like a fool for not having thought about the possibility of this. 

The worst thing, though, was when he looked back up after scrambling for his suitcase that had bursted open because of the impact, meeting the stranger's eyes and realizing that he actually knew him. 

He knew him quite well. 

~~~~

_" Hey, stop that Chanyeol."_

_Feeling hands stroke through his brown locks and a flower crown being sat on top of his head, he giggled softly, facing his taller lover._

_" You look beautiful with it though. Wear it for me, please?" Chanyeol pouted, halfway laying on top of the smaller._

_The small picnic blanket they had brought was not big enough for the two of them, forcing them to press closer against each other, with dew grass under them._

_" Do I? Don't I look childish? "_

_" No. You are the most beautiful thing I ever laid my eyes on," the taller admitted, eyes so soft that Baekhyun actually didn't know what to do other than to lean forward and nudge their noses together._

_" You just want a kiss, don't you?"_

_" Yeah."_

_Laughing at his cuteness, he leaned even closer, ready to press his lips against Chanyeol's plump ones when a loud voice brought him back to the current._

~~~~

" What are you doing here?" 

Blinking his eyes up at the taller, Baekhyun also took notice of the other guy clinging onto Chanyeol's arm, lips swollen from their kiss. 

It felt like a dream, but simultaneously, he knew it was not and that scared him. 

" Yeol.. "

" Baekhyun, what are you doing here?" the other asked again, voice forceful, making the smaller feel uncomfortable. 

" This is my room, I am supposed to share it...with you?" 

Quite literally able to see the shock on his face, Baekhyun honestly didn't know what to do, the situation simply being way too weird to grasp it properly. 

Instead of receiving an answer, he was forced to see Chanyeol kissing the guy once more, and whispering something into his ear, and soon watching him leave through the front door. 

It hurt, but he had promised himself to stay strong. 

" So you are my new roommate, huh? What are the odds." 

" I'm sorry that I interrupted you guys. I didn't mean to," he apologized, not knowing what else to do, simply feeling like a fool. 

" Of course you didn't mean to, just like you didn't mean to get my hopes up and crush them," Chanyeol laughed, bitterly at it. 

With his stuff still being scattered all over the floor, he surely felt like some idiot especially because one of the pieces was the pullover he had kept. 

Now ashamed that it was on full display, he quickly leaned down to pack it back into his suitcase, ignoring his words. 

" I wouldn't have thought I’d meet you, Chanyeol. I'm sorry. If you are uncomfortable with me here, I will ask for a room change." 

" Impossible. My room was available because my last roommate finished college. You won't find another one," the taller explained, not even moving a inch or intending to help the other. 

It was understandable though, but still seeing his ex acting like he just did, was foreign and sad. 

" Okay...then, um, could you at least show me my room?" he asked, knowing the situation was uncomfortable for them. 

" I have to, sadly. Get up." 

Locking his suitcase once more, he dragged it behind him while following the taller, heart heavy with emotions he could not suppress, eyes burning from the way he was holding back his tears. 

He had known that Chanyeol moved to attend college, never would he have thought they would study at the same one. 

Being faced with his room, empty except for a bed and a small table plus chair, he squirmed in place, questions laying on his tongue, too scared to say them out loud. 

" Here. Unpack everything. There is a welcome party for first years at eight. You should attend." 

" Was that your boyfriend?" he asked, mouth moving faster than his brain could act, immediately regretting it when Chanyeol started to laugh. 

" I think it's none of your business, but no. He is not my boyfriend, just a good fuck. Now if you will excuse me, I need to leave for my club activities." 

Hearing his reply, Baekhyun couldn't avoid feeling his heart wrench with pain, not recognizing the boy in front of him and also not able to answer, instead watching his retreating back until he was alone. 

-

His bed was empty and cold, but it was enough for him to lay down and let everything that just happened wash over him, head hurting from the mess it produced. 

The mere fact that he just met his first love and had to live with him from now on had been too much for his brain. 

Especially because he had been the one who had ruined everything, he had been the one who was responsible for the way Chanyeol had changed and he was at fault for his own tears dropping down onto his shirt. 

  
~~~~

_The evening was rough, rain falling down onto the streets heavily, soaking him and his clothes completely, but it was nice feeling it collide with his own tears._

_The conversation was still heavy on his heart, words hurting him immensely, and drowning him in sorrow._

_His feet, though, still led him back to his own family house, more than surprised when Chanyeol was standing in front of it, wet himself and hands wrapped around a bouquet of flowers._

_" Baek! I waited for you, you're wet as well, huh? It's pouring down like crazy."_

_Hearing his words, he stepped closer, actually just craving his warmth and starting to cry harder when the taller hugged him tightly._

_His perfume was invading his nostril, calming him down but also making him feel guilty._

_" Baek, I'm here because I wanted to tell you something important, but you're crying...What happened?"_

_" I have to tell you something important as well," he answered, pulling away from his shirt to stare up into his eyes._

_" Let's break up, Chanyeol."_

~~~~

The memory of it was still as clear as water, only having happened about a year ago and it also still hurt like hell. 

He had his reasons back then, but that didn't mean he wanted to do what he had done, and now he would have to live together with the other, chased by his own mistake over and over again. 

Baekhyun just knew it would be hell, even more than that, but he also was happy as weird as it may sound. 

Being close to Chanyeol again was maybe his bad luck, but at the same time, if that meant he would see him smile again after such a long time, he would try and endure it. 

Endure it even if it would break his heart. 

* * *

Just like he had feared, living together with Chanyeol was a mess. 

Not because of the overall situation, but because the taller avoided him like he was a pest. 

He didn't talk to him, looked at him, nor cared. 

It was a terrible feeling which started to settle in his stomach, especially because he was new around campus. 

Baekhyun didn't know anyone, had problems finding the classrooms, and was too shy to talk to strangers. And on top of all of that, he was too scared to ask the taller, knowing he had every right to be angry, but still feeling hurt because of it. 

Talking it out wasn't an option because Baekhyun wouldn't have known where to start. Still having those lingering emotions in his heart, it left a sharp pain every time Chanyeol brought home a different girl or guy. 

That is also why he got used to sitting in the living room alone, going through his papers while the rain was crashing down onto the streets outside. 

Saturdays were something special for students. Seemingly going out for parties and drinking alcohol. For him, it wasn't an option. Not having made friends and being overall uncomfortable of being alone at gatherings, where he would just disappear in the crowd anyway, were depressing and joyless, something he could ignore without a second thought.. 

The last few weeks, though, he could see a certain habit that Chanyeol definitely did not want to spend more time than necessary with him. 

It was funny to think that there had been a time where the taller literally wanted to spend every free minute with Baekhyun, sticking to him like glue and kissing him like crazy. 

It left a sour aftertaste because even though he had ended it himself, he never wanted to do that. 

Shaking his head softly to get rid of the sad thoughts, he leaned over his laptop, eyes starting to hurt from staring at the blank word page he had opened. 

Studying literature had always been a dream come true, but it was difficult. Very difficult and it showed. 

Rubbing his temples for a second, he checked the time briefly, seeing that it was close to eight and the knocking on the door couldn't have been more precise. 

Knowing Chanyeol was still in the bathroom, he got up and opened it, seeing Sehun staring down at him. 

" Hey shorty. Is the big guy ready?" 

Sehun, Chanyeol's best friend. He was a really nice guy, but he knew about their history together, and he definitely knew what Baekhyun had done, not missing a chance to make the smaller feel bad about it. 

" Um, I don't know. He's still in the bathroom. You can come inside, though." 

" Oh, I planned on doing that anyway," he replied, making Baekhyun roll his eyes and move to the side, letting Sehun walk inside. 

Thinking he would be left alone was wishful thinking because the second he sat down again, the other was standing behind him, eyes glued to the laptop. 

" What are you doing on a Saturday evening? Studying? Don't you go out and have fun for once?" 

Trying to avoid the question, he was too good of a person to not say anything, and that's why he chose to shake his head softly. 

" I,um, I don't know anyone around here, so… It's okay," he answered, sincerely hoping Sehun would just leave him alone. 

It wasn't like he didn't like to talk, but right now, he really wasn't in the mood. Always being tense around him and Chanyeol especially because he didn't know how much Sehun knew. 

" Really, huh?" 

Sighing at the underlying tone of disbelief, he was glad when Chanyeol decided to join their conversation, only dressed in some tight black jeans, and no matter how hard Baekhyun tried not to stare, his eyes found the familiar curve of the taller's muscles endearing. 

It didn't go unnoticed, though because the other's best friend found his eyes, smirk ghosting over his mouth and making Baekhyun turn his head away again, lip between his teeth. 

" Big boy, I thought you're ready." 

" Yeah, yeah, don't rush me, I had to shave. Give me five more minutes," Chanyeol chuckled, eyes fixated on his phone, probably writing one of his hookups, leading Baekhyun to shake his head to get rid of the thought. 

" Don't worry, Baekhyun here is entertaining me a lot," Sehun teased and sat down beside the smaller, unnecessarily close. 

" I need to study, Sehun," he admitted, annoyed at how uncomfortable the situation actually was. 

" Oh come on. Make some time for me, will you? Only until Chanyeol is done," 

It was obvious that he really wasn't keen on that idea. He had a habit of wanting to ask his ex for help, but Baekhyun stopped himself from doing so when he could see the taller sipping on a water bottle, eyes on them. 

" I will be quick, don't bother him too much, Hun," he announced before walking back to the bathroom, the smaller's heart doing a forbidden skip of a beat. 

-

The moment they finally left, Baekhyun honestly felt confused. His love for the taller was just as strong as when they were still together, and it hurt. 

Hurt seeing him act like he did, so foreign and cold. No gentle touches or kisses like he had been used to. 

But it was reality that he had to get used to it. It would be better this way anyway. 

What he didn't expect was for him to fall asleep on the couch, with no blanket in sight and neck uncomfortably placed against the pillows. 

Working on his papers tired him out immensely and paired with the situation which happened prior, it got worse. 

Waking up when the front door shut close loudly, he jerked up into a sitting position, eyes slowly getting used to the darkness, ears catching weird breathing and it made him blush when he knew exactly what was going on. 

Trying to hide and just leave for his own room, he had to stumble and fall to the ground, knee hitting the wooden floor harshly. 

It definitely got their attention, and he was seriously embarrassed when Chanyeol turned on the light, displaying the way he was trying to get up, leg hurting too much. 

" Who's that?" an unfamiliar voice asked, clearly out of breath, and the answered loud sigh just hurt his heart when it shouldn't have. 

" My roommate. Don't worry about him, let's go to my room." 

Watching them stagger past him, Baekhyun felt both shame and sadness, focusing way too long on the way Chanyeol had his arm wrapped around the other guy's waist. 

Missing his touches a lot. 

Once he was back in his room, the door did little to drown out the noises from the other side, moans too loud to ignore them. 

And maybe it was the overall stress that had welled up ever since they started to live with each other, the tears fell down his face faster than he was able to stop them, hand immediately rubbing over his cheeks. 

And rather than laying down on his bed, he reached out for his sneakers with shaky hands, tying them loosely and then rushing out of their dorm room. Just needing the fresh air. 

The moment he stepped out, the rain started to fall down again, mixing up with his tears. 

Baekhyun couldn't have cared less, running to the next best bench to sit down and cry his heart out, just wanting this feeling to finally stop. 

It wouldn't anytime soon, knowing the love he felt and still had in his heart for Chanyeol was way bigger than anything he had felt before. 

Loud sobs started to hurt his throat, hands doing little to cover them, but he still ended up being surprised when someone placed a warm hand on his shoulder, making him jump out of his skin for a second. 

" I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you, but um, is everything okay?" 

Being confronted with a guy about the same height as himself, thick glasses sitting on his nose and a penguin umbrella shielding him from the rain, Baekhyun couldn't avoid immediately feeling comfortable. 

" N-No...I'm not fine," he admitted, voice broken and hoarse. Even so, the gentle smile meeting him calmed him down. 

" Do you want to come to my room? I just heated up some peppermint tea." 

" That…That would be nice...Yes." 

-

Hot tea warming up his hands while holding the cup, Baekhyun was grateful for the towel that was now wrapped around his shoulders. 

The other guy had brought him back to his own dorm room, helping him dry up as good as possible. 

Now sitting across from him, he felt ashamed for having been caught crying, especially by someone he didn't know. 

" I'm Kyungsoo by the way. I'm sorry I should have introduced myself earlier." 

" No, no, it's okay, don't worry! I'm Baekhyun. Thank you again, for taking me home with you," Baekhyun answered, tired smile but honest, and it also made him realize how bad his eyes actually were hurting. 

" Do you want to talk about it? You don't need to worry about others! My roommate is already asleep," Kyungsoo explained, thick glasses making him look young and smart. 

It also left Baekhyun to feel weirdly comforted, the other having a calm effect on him. 

"My ex, or better said my roommate." 

Hearing the loud gasp, he knew it sounded terribly uncomfortable and it wasn't a surprise when the other came closer, sat down beside him and reached out for the smaller's hand. 

" So you dated and broke up while being roommates?" 

" No, actually, we dated before I joined college. I'm a freshman, he's a sophomore. We…We both never would have guessed that we would end up as roommates though," he explained, hands nervously fiddling with the cup of tea, deciding to take a sip. 

" Did you two fight?" 

Shaking his head softly, the thing that had triggered him in the first place, came crashing back down on him, lips quivering from the way he was holding back. 

" He had sex with someone else, right beside my room. It was just too much, I'm sorry I'm a mess right now," he sighed, tears brimming his eyes once again, but this time Kyungsoo pressed his hand against his cheek, drying them before they were able to drop. 

" That must have hurt. I'm sorry to hear that. But, um, sorry if I am too nosey, but did you break up on bad terms?" the other questioned, making Baekhyun remember something he would have loved to forget. 

" We did. It was my fault, I broke up with him even though… " 

Stopping mid-sentence, he was about to just get up and leave when Kyungsoo's arm wrapped around his shoulder, comforting him immensely. 

" You still love him?" 

" I do...I love him a lot, but I messed up, " he admitted, tears now falling down his face once more, being comfortable enough to show his weak side to the other. 

" Do you want to tell me why?" 

~~~

_" So you are the Baekhyun, my Chanyeol keeps talking about?"_

_Listening to the taller mom's words, Baekhyun felt both nervous and excited, having met his lover's parents by accident while wanting to pay a visit._

_" Oh, he talks about me? And yes! I am. It's nice to meet you, Mrs. Park," he smiled, hand reaching out to shake the woman's slender one, but the sudden laugh caught him off guard._

_" He talks about you a lot, and I absolutely despise it. You work part time in your family bakery, don't you? You know my son will be someone great one day, you though, cannot even compare."_

_Feeling the daggers hit his heart with force, Baekhyun was confused and shocked. Not having expected something like this while actually having hoped to make a good impression._

_" I'm-"_

_" Don't interrupt. I wasn't finished. Let me tell you this, he may be keeping you close for now, but he will lose interest. My son is not gay, you literally don't stand a chance, Byun Baekhyun. You never will," she spitted, words being pure poison._

_Especially because the smaller had no clue how to act and what to say, too sad and confused to even answer._

_" We may have met by chance, but maybe it's better this way. Leave my son as soon as possible for your own good. You will never be enough for him."_

~~~

" She said that?" 

Nodding his head defeatedly, Baekhyun sniffed his nose once, fearing he might be able to catch a cold due to the rain. 

" She scared me so, so much. I believed her because at that time, our relationship wasn't the strongest as well, I should have never given up so fast, though," he admitted, guilt still ripping him apart heavily. 

" Hey Baekhyun, don't. I would have been scared too. You made this decision back then, and it had been the right one, just wanting to protect him, and now you see it differently. There's nothing to be ashamed of," Kyungsoo argued, needing him to feel better, but Baekhyun simply shook his head once more. 

" When I told him I wanted to break up, that night, he actually wanted to tell me he loves me. I broke his heart," he sobbed, hating that the pain was just as harsh as it had been last year. 

" Oh.. did he tell you that?" 

" No. His best friend back then told me, the guilt is eating me up, and now I'm living in the same dorm room as him. I feel like I don't deserve to still have these strong emotions inside of me, like I'm not allowed to be hurt and jealous," he whispered, throat starting to hurt from the way he was sobbing. 

On top of that, reality checked up on him soon enough, making him look back at Kyungsoo, and seeing his worried glance. 

" I'm sorry. We just met half an hour ago, and I already told you my whole life story." 

" I don't mind this, don't you worry. I found you and I wanted to help you. That's all," Kyungsoo replied, soft hand still stroking over Baekhyun's back and making him smile. 

" Thank you for listening. I think I really needed to tell someone." 

" Hey, this is bonding! We were definitely supposed to meet. By the way, what major are you in?" 

Rubbing his nose for a second to get rid of the itchy feeling, the smaller sat up properly again, reaching for the cup of tea to finally continue drinking it. 

" Literature."

" Wait, really? Me too!! Maybe we really were supposed to meet," he said, and it honestly made Baekhyun feel so comfortable. 

Something about the other made him want to spend hours together, just talking and maybe, just maybe, he sincerely hoped they would start to become friends. 

" Maybe. I, um, I don't want to bother you any longer. I should head back." 

" Oh. Well, you can sleep on our couch if you want to? I mean, you still seem quite distressed, and I completely get that. He means a lot to you, still," the other suggested, pointing at the big leather couch in the middle of the room. 

And as nice as it sounded, Baekhyun honestly just wanted to sleep in his own bed, hiding away from the shame. 

" That's really nice, but I think going back is better for now… I don't want to catch a cold." 

Being thankful for Kyungsoo not urging him any further, they exchanged phone numbers, and even if the day had been terrible, this was at least one positive thing about it. 

Making friends had never been easy for the smaller, especially now that he had moved to a different town. 

Even though he and Kyungsoo met because of something sad, he felt like they could get along quite well, making him smile for at least a few seconds. 

~

Thinking he would be able to just sneak back into the dorm, however, was wishful and instead of avoiding any conversation, the first thing he saw while entering their room was someone standing in the small kitchen. 

The guy Chanyeol had brought along, only dressed in the taller's football shirt, nothing else. 

He was pretty, Baekhyun had to admit that. 

Long legs and soft red hair, the hickeys blooming over his neck, though, left a sour aftertaste. 

" Oh. Aren't you the roommate?" 

Shivering from the way his wet clothes stuck to his skin, he chose to nod his head awkwardly, being too nice to ignore him. 

The moment Chanyeol joined them, sweatpants sitting loosely around his hips, Baekhyun felt like crying all over again. 

Something about the way he looked and acted was just so familiar, only that his affection wasn't directed at the smaller this time. 

And if the taller did notice Baekhyun's swollen eyes, he chose to ignore it. 

Taking off his shoes at the front door, not wanting to dirty the floor, he could overhear their conversation, mainly being about what they had done earlier, but then it changed to something about medicine. 

_Pills_. 

It made Baekhyun gasp and rush over to the kitchen, seeing the guy holding up a half used package of birth control. 

Without thinking about it, he reached forward to grab it, hands shaking from embarrassment especially when realizing that Chanyeol was staring at him intensely. 

" Oh, they are yours? _You_ have sex?" the hookup said, mocking him and leading Baekhyun to bite his lips in both anger and sadness. 

Even if he didn't have sex, which was obviously the case, he never stopped taking them, being way too used to it. 

What he didn't expect, though, was Chanyeol bugging in, groaning loudly. 

" Was that necessary? They are his, and that's that. I seriously thought we could go another round, but I'm not in the mood anymore. Also before you leave, give me back my shirt," he said, voice calm and cold. 

His words made Baekhyun's heart skip a beat, surprised at how he was about to throw him out because of such a small incident. 

And even if he didn't want to think about it, he still hoped that he was the reason for that. 

" Huh? Excuse me, what?" 

" You heard me. Leave. Now." 

Watching the drama unfold, Baekhyun stood still, shivering slightly from the cold while witnessing the other rushing out of the dorm room, head red and about to explode, Chanyeol still leaning against the sink. 

It was suddenly really quiet, and even though the silence had always been comfortable, right now it wasn't. 

" Thank you, um, for saying that." 

" Don't mention it. It's okay," Chanyeol replied, suddenly stepping closer to touch one of the strings of the smaller's pullover. 

" You're wet?" 

Nodding his head softly, he briefly pointed outside and smiled awkwardly. 

" It rained when I went out, I will go warm up with a shower." 

" Why did you leave in the first place? " the taller asked, but with one glance at Baekhyun, he knew the reason. 

" Sorry dumb question…" 

" No, it's okay. Actually, can we talk?" Baekhyun asked, hands already shaking because of his nervousness, but calming down when his ex hummed and sat down. 

" Sure." 

" It's nothing big, but I know the situation is uncomfortable for us both, and I know I'm the main cause for this. What I mean is, um, can we try to act normal around each other?" 

"Normal?" Chanyeol questioned, eyebrows raised comically, his voice owning the slightest bit of a snort. 

" I mean, just like roommates. I know it's difficult, but it makes it even more uncomfortable when you keep ignoring me," he admitted, cheeks tinted in a deep red. 

The only thing he actually wanted was for them to maybe get a bit closer again. Nothing wild or out of the ordinary, but just accepting each other's presence. 

And maybe, just maybe, he had a different reason for it as well, lingering feelings bubbling up once more. 

" I see. Well, to be honest I didn't expect to meet you again like this, and I know I was harsh and mean to you, but please respect that in the end, you hurt me. It's not that easy." 

Biting his lips in shame, he sincerely wished he could just admit what had happened last year, what truly had ripped them apart, but bringing it up now would have created even more chaos than necessary. 

Would easily come off as an excuse. 

" I know and I will forever feel bad about that, but Chanyeol, can we try it at least?" 

Fiddling with his sweater paws, he anxiously stared at the way the taller sipped on his water bottle, naked chest still very much on display and driving the smaller the least bit insane. 

Nevertheless, after what felt like years, his ex stood up and reached a hand out, smile on his face for once seeming honest. 

" Okay, I can't promise it will be like it was before, but we can try this." 

Returning the smile with one of his own, he took his hand into his own, briefly shaking it and trying to ignore the familiar touch of his fingers in order to reply. 

" Thank you. I appreciate that a lot, but I have to excuse myself and go take a shower now." 

" Don't catch a cold, Baek." 

* * *

To his surprise, the weeks after their talk actually started to feel more comfortable around Chanyeol. 

It wasn't like the old times, of course it wasn't, but they greeted each other, had breakfast together sometimes and even talked longer than just a few seconds. 

Baekhyun was still very much aware of the guilt within himself, pain evident in Chanyeol's eyes every time they stood the least bit closer. 

Ridiculous, but on the other hand, the smaller seriously didn't want to ruin anything further, their break up still invading his mind way too often. 

It was something he wouldn't be able to forget easily or better said ignore, simply because rather than feeling okay, his feelings grew stronger once more. 

The lingering want for the taller's touches, strong and being a sweet torture. 

Nevertheless, Chanyeol also seemed to have changed the least bit, because there hadn't been any more hookups in their dorm room since that incident.

Sure it was possible that his ex met them elsewhere, but Baekhyun liked the thought of being the reason for that way more. 

Painting out a future he probably wouldn't be able to have. 

~

"Good Morning, Baek!" 

Looking up from where he was sitting under a tree, book in his lap, Baekhyun smiled, greeting Kyungsoo who was walking closer until he stopped right in front of him. 

" Hi Soo. Why are you here? Your classes start at 12, don't they?" he asked, while reaching for the carrot stripes he had cut this morning, munching on them slowly. 

" Don't you know about it??" 

" About what?" 

Confused about what he seemed to talk about, Baekhyun feared he had missed out on something for a second, moving his eyes over the field he was sitting on and trying to gain knowledge about the situation. 

" The football game! Today is match day. Jongin is one of the players so I always go and cheer for him," Kyungsoo explained, mentioning his roommate briefly and even if he tried to hide it, Baekhyun knew it was more than just friendship. 

" I actually didn't know, no. Is it now?" 

" Yes!! About 20 minutes are left. Come with me," his friend announced, not giving him any chance to reject when he pulled him up, dragging Baekhyun across the meadow towards the field.

And he honestly didn't expect the first thing he would see would be Chanyeol. 

Chanyeol who was clad in his football outfit, shoulder pads making him even broader. It suited him, black stripes across his face, but when their eyes met the smaller was incapable of doing anything. 

It was like a tiny spark, one he couldn't pinpoint, and it made his heart race so fast, cheeks heating up slightly when the taller waved as a greeting. 

Taken aback for a second, he did the same, smiling when Chanyeol stared for a bit more, but soon enough being dragged by Kyungsoo towards the seats. 

" You know Park Chanyeol?" 

" Yeah…He's my roommate," Baekhyun admitted, not surprised when his friend gasped softly, big eyes growing behind his glasses. 

" So he is that ex you cried about." 

"Hm." 

A bit awkward about the situation, Baekhyun sat down beside the other, in between an impressive crowd, which could be easily explained due to the beauty the football team held.

Nevertheless, the smaller's eyes only found Chanyeol, voluntary or not. 

" Hey, is it okay? We can leave if it's uncomfortable, Baek," Kyungsoo said while gently massaging the other's shoulder, giving him the slightest bit of comfort. 

" No, no, it's okay, ever since we talked it out it's fine." 

Never would he have thought he would end up so invested in the game, cheering for their college team like some small kid, hands in the air every time they scored a point. 

It was fun, and he basically ended up being so proud of the taller, seeing how much fun he had and how good he was. 

And it definitely didn't go unseen, Kyungsoo's eyes on him every two seconds, knowing just how much Baekhyun was still feeling for Chanyeol. 

He didn't say anything, rather he was more than glad about it because after the game his friend dragged him down to the field to congratulate the players. 

He definitely had his reasons, watching Kyungsoo jump into Jongin's arms a bit too obvious. 

It was cute, and it made him smile before his shoulder suddenly was nudged. 

Looking up to meet Chanyeol's eyes he could see the black stripes now being messy, his hair sticking to his forehead, but not demolishing his beauty in the slightest. 

" Hi, um, how did you like it?" 

" It was great!" Baekhyun grinned, involuntary staring right into his eyes, and he could feel the brief tension. 

One that reminded him of when they had been still together. 

" That's nice to hear. There is an after party, so if you'd like you could tag along?" Chanyeol asked, shy smile making the smaller's knees all soft and wobbly, and before he knew it, he had already nodded his head. 

" Great. Then I will see you there." 

Watching his ex walk away towards the cabins, Baekhyun knew the thing he was feeling rooted way deeper than before, and even if this had been a simply friendly conversation, he could not avoid thinking about it a bit more intensely. 

~

Kyungsoo had told him that the players were able to drink a lot, he didn't expect them to be that drunk that quickly though. 

Instead of going to a bar, one of them suggested celebrating at his house, and it sure escalated the moment random people joined the party. 

For Baekhyun, it wasn't that big of a deal, but simultaneously, he felt alone. 

His friend was clinging onto Jongin's arm, drinking beer with him, and talking about whatever seemed to keep their boat sailing. 

It was cute to look at, but it also made the smaller realize that he really was bad at socializing. 

The room was booming with people, either dancing or jumping into the pool, loud bass music making his ears feel numb, at least half of them drunk and about to black out. 

The beer he was holding tasted disgusting, not being a big fan of alcohol anyway, but everyone did it, so he at least wanted to give it a try. 

Now, he honestly felt like going back to the dorms because no one paid attention to him anyway, and the one person he seeked comfort from was in the pool, surrounded by boys and girls. 

" Shortie! What's up?" 

Hearing the voice behind him, he didn't even have enough time to act before Sehun had his arm wrapped around Baekhyun's shoulder, hand uncomfortably close to his chest. 

He was definitely drunk, the scent of alcohol hitting his nostrils almost immediately, making him frown. 

" Sehun, hi." 

" Why are you alone? Come swim with me for a bit," the other suggested, words mixing together due to his current state, hand wandering further down and making Baekhyun feel weird. 

" Um, no thanks. I didn't bring any clothes to change into, it's okay. I was about to leave anyway." 

Getting up and removing Sehun's arm from himself, the smaller touched his own chest, trying to get rid of the feeling, before the taller was hovering above him once more. 

" Come on! Chanyeol is there too, maybe he shows enough pity to fuck you, seems like you could need that," he said, and his words definitely hurt Baekhyun a whole lot. 

Not only because they weren't a couple, but also because he simply felt humiliated, several eyes on him due to them standing in the middle of the living room.

And in all honesty, it was more than impossible for the smaller to hold back his tears, the situation and his own feelings being just too overwhelming. 

" Let me go," he begged, squirming out of Sehun's hold, eyes searching the room for at least one person that would have his back, but there weren't any. 

Kyungsoo had left with Jongin prior this conversation, and Sehun really wasn't a bad guy, but his drunken behavior right now surely ruined a lot. 

" Oh did I hit a nerve? If he doesn't want to, you know, I could fuck you as well. I don't mind, you're cute at least." 

Disgusted with his words, Baekhyun raised his hand without a second thought, slapped it across the other's face, and it definitely was loud. 

" You're a piece of shit," Baekhyun spat out, hand burning from the impact, but it was also satisfying, knowing he stood up for himself. 

And before Sehun could do anything further, there was a sudden commotion behind them, people moving out of the way to make room for Chanyeol. 

His eyes moved from Sehun's cheek to Baekhyun's hand and then met the smaller's eyes, tears obvious on his cheeks. 

" What is happening here?" 

" He slapped me, that's what happened," Sehun groaned while coming back to his senses, the alcohol still evident in his veins. 

" I didn't ask you, Baekhyun, what happened?" 

Taken aback by the situation and the question, the smaller rubbed his eyes dry with his sweater, trying to hide the obvious pain. 

" Nothing…It's okay. Um, I will leave now, have fun." 

Turning around and quite literally storming out of the apartment, Baekhyun honestly just wanted to escape the suffocating tension, not in the mood to stir up trouble or to have a conversation with his ex. Even if him appearing made his heart race so fast that he feared he would say something dangerous. 

Breathing in the cold air outside, he stuffed his hands into his pockets, focusing on his shoes clacking against the pavement before hearing his name being called. 

At first he thought it was his imagination, but then it got louder, and it left him to turn around, watching Chanyeol running towards him, shirt halfway clad over his shoulders while he pulled it down. 

" Baek, wait! " 

" What are you doing here??" he asked, having stopped in his tracks in order to let the taller come closer. 

" I wasn't in the mood anymore for a party and…I also worried about you. Something definitely happened, won't you tell me?" 

Blushing at his words, he stroked his hair behind his ear nervously, way too affected by it. 

" I see…Well, he said some rude things to me and held my wrist. I wanted to leave, but he didn't stop so I slapped him," he explained, but gawked when Chanyeol started to laugh, dimples on his cheeks making Baekhyun swoon. 

" You're as fierce as ever, huh? What did he say though?" 

" Ah, he was drunk so I bet he didn't mean it." 

Trying to avoid the topic, he knew Chanyeol. He knew he wouldn't stop asking until Baekhyun would spill his worries, and it kind of made him feel nostalgic. 

" He said…He said if I would be up to it, you would probably sleep with me, and then he suggested I could sleep with him. However, it's okay, don't worry." 

" It's absolutely not okay. He knows exactly what happened. God, sometimes I really want to punch some sense into him," Chanyeol groaned, eyebrows furrowing together cutely.

And even though the topic itself was quite uncomfortable, Baekhyun knew he was in a safe space. He always had been when he was together with the taller. 

" I'm okay. It just hurt me, but I will get over it." 

" How about some ice cream?" 

"Huh?" he croaked, looking at his ex who was now meekly grinning down at him. 

" Yeah, let's go get some ice cream. That will help." 

~

Listening to the rustling of the trees, Baekhyun still wasn't able to grasp the situation, now sitting on swings together with Chanyeol, eating vanilla ice cream. 

It was still quite warm even though it was getting late, and the brief fresh air every two seconds made him feel so comfortable. 

Comfortable enough to not need to talk. 

But that changed when the taller stopped swinging and instead faced Baekhyun, big eyes focusing on the smaller's face. 

" He really didn't do anything else, did he?" 

" No. He really didn't. Why are you so invested?" Baekhyun giggled, finding it cute how much his ex cared, which ultimately reminded him of the old times. 

" It's just…I mean-" 

" Hm?" 

Seeing that Chanyeol was struggling with himself a lot, Baekhyun also stopped swinging and placed his now empty ice cream on the floor, fully focusing on the other. 

" You can be honest with me, don't worry." 

" Sehun can be an asshole sometimes, usually when drunk. I saw you crying, so I was worried. That's all," Chanyeol explained, obviously avoiding the smaller's eyes. 

" You didn't change much in this year, Yeol, still as sweet as ever." 

Getting up from the swing, Baekhyun threw away his empty package, eyeing the taller once before turning around to grin at him. 

" Let's go back, I'm getting a bit tired." 

* * *

It was difficult even meeting Sehun after their conversation, Chanyeol being able to always find a way to avoid them clashing, which was quite cute. 

Nevertheless Baekhyun knew there was just a certain amount of time, that would pass, before he would meet the other again, and ironically it happened when Chanyeol was nowhere in sight.

Of course the taller wasn’t his bodyguard or anything similar, yet they were on a more comfortable level and the smaller could not prevent himself from feeling safe whenever he was around.

Now though, he stood in the middle of the supermarket, shopping cart in front of him while Sehun stood at the end of the shelf aisle, staring at him like he saw a ghost. It was quite uncomfortable and even though Baekhyun knew that the other wasn’t a bad guy, he still had been haunted by what had happened, making his hands sweat profusely.

He knew running away would have looked ridiculous and maybe it was just pure luck, but Sehun was the one who came closer, hand awkwardly scratching his neck.

“ Hey…”

“ Hello Sehun” Baekhyun replied, the pullover he was wearing suddenly too warm for him to wear, his eyes frantically searching for something to focus on, before he ultimately gave up, meeting the other’s gaze.

“ Listen, I wanted to apologize for what I did and said back then, I reflected on it and I would have done this sooner, but Chanyeol forbid me to come over.”

Hearing his words, he actually had to smile, immediately trying to hide it because he knew it was not the right moment to dwell on thoughts that were about his ex, instead reaching out to pat Sehun’s shoulder, the height difference making him seem like a small kid.

“ Thank you for apologizing, it means a lot to me. How about you walk back to university with me? I could need some help with the groceries?” he replied, a gentle expression on his soft face while he pointed at the cart he was holding.

“ Yeah, totally! I will help you, let’s go.”

~

Maybe it was the fact that they both were much calmer now, but talking seemed easier than before, laughter shared while they walked back to the dorms. Sehun really was nice and actually a lot more understanding than Baekhyun had at first thought. Quite similar to Chanyeol if he would have been completely honest.

The groceries they were carrying, were quite heavy and the smaller was more than relieved when they were close to his door, yet, he ended up jumping back in shock, stumbling into Sehun’s chest while witnessing his roomate open the door, stare so intense that he ended up shivering.

“ C-Chanyeol?”

“ Sehun, what are you doing here?” the taller said, completely ignoring Baekhyun and instead stepping out to properly face the other guy, his stance extremely intimidating.

“ I brought him back home, we met at the grocery store-”

“ Yeah but didn’t I tell you to keep your distance? Which you obviously are ignoring”

Placing down the bags, he was still holding, the smaller walked in between them to be able to stop whatever weird energy they created, hand gently pushing against Chanyeol’s chest once.

“ It’s okay, Chanyeol. He apologized to me, we’re good. Okay?”

For a brief second their eyes met and there was just this sort of worry and fear reflected in the taller’s, throwing Baekhyun back to their past and reminding him of how much the other always had cared for him.

“ Are you sure?”

“ Yes, I mean, I wouldn’t have let him take me back home otherwise” he giggled, only ending up blushing when Chanyeol’s gaze was so, _so_ tender and gentle. Something he had been craving for ages. Something he thought he would never witness again.

“ Fine. Then I apologize as well for overreacting”

Watching both of them shake hands and laugh, Baekhyun started to feel like an intruder, which ultimately led him to grab the bags and walk inside, placing his shoes on the right side of the door. It did not take long for him to witness the taller walk back in as well, the tension being the least bit weird.

The smaller choose to ignore it and instead unpack the stuff he had bought, soon enough sensing a presence close by which made him avoid Chanyeol’s stare until he literally was no longer able to.

“ What?”

“ Is everything really okay?” the taller asked, arms crossed over his muscular chest, his long sweatshirt barely covering the fact he was well built underneath and it made Baekhyun realize that he was staring.

_Again._

“ Yes I promise you this. I met him and he helped me back. That is all. You sure realize that you worry quite a lot for me, don’t you?” the smaller teased, just wanting to loosen up the tension between them, but ending up blushing when Chanyeol barely reacted, instead nodding his head and admitting that he was indeed worried.

“ I know that I do worry a lot, but...I just don’t like that he made you so uncomfortable. You said you’re okay now though, so that is that. I will be in my room”

It was weird. 

From one second to the other, Chanyeol completely switched his attitude, not even giving Baekhyun the chance to say thanks or reply, ending up watching the taller rush out of the room as if he was the pest. Maybe it was better this way though, because his heart was beating way too fast for it to be healthy.

The longing growing and deeming him to end up miserable.

He couldn’t have cared less, because if he had the chance to stay close to Chanyeol, he would risk getting hurt again.

~

Baekhyun honestly felt like they were on their way to a good healthy friendship once more even if his feelings were still present, but he swore to himself to not ruin it again. 

Particularly because he still didn't tell him the reason he had to break up with him. 

The taller deserved an explanation. 

But talking about it would ultimately mean that the smaller also had to admit he was still very much in love, never having stopped thinking about his ex. 

If he was completely honest, Chanyeol had been his first for everything, and Baekhyun always wanted him to be the last as well. 

A dream that had been crushed even before he was able to speak it into existence. 

Weeks had turned into months, and they had started to spend a lot of time together once more, going out for drinks or watching a movie. 

It actually felt surreal, but on the other hand, it had been the thing Baekhyun had been craving for so long. 

Way too long. 

Chanyeol seemed oblivious to his lingering stares, gently hugging the smaller sideways, and overall being way closer than previous encounters. 

It made it more difficult because with every passing day, Baekhyun felt like the taller truly was only seeing him as a friend and no longer as a potential lover. No longer as someone he would kiss, hug and touch. 

Sleepless nights were the result of his worries as well as alcohol. Well, a few drinks only because he knew his limits. 

Jumping on every opportunity that contained the words 'party' and 'fun'. 

The one thing he tried to avoid seemed to make him feel lighter and better every time he felt depressed. 

He never drank much, but he was a lightweight, often causing problems for Kyungsoo who always took care of him. 

After all, there was no way he would have been able to talk to Chanyeol. 

The current situation though, was something he didn't expect. 

Having been out with his best friend, he now was in front of their dorm room door, trying to find the right key while Kyungsoo held him up. His cheeks were covered in tears, lips bitten from his constant anxiety, hands shaking due to the stress he had put himself under. 

Being at a point where his feelings started to hurt him once more, he truly didn't know what to do, instead drowning his thoughts over and over again. 

It was not typical for him at all, body definitely not being used to it. 

" Baek…Hey, let me help," his friend suddenly said, gently reaching for the key to unlock the door, only to see Chanyeol rushing out of his room to stand in front of them. 

" What happened?" 

Hiccuping his tears away, Baekhyun briefly stared at the taller, vision hazy from his head being super dizzy but still clear enough to make out the chest of his ex, muscles as ripped as ever. 

It left him to whine and fall forward, immediately cuddling into Chanyeol's chest without a second thought, seeking the comfort he had been missing. 

" What-" 

" He's drunk, Chanyeol. A whole lot. Please just try to get him into bed," Kyungsoo begged, eyes tired from all the stress. 

" Drunk? But he is always so careful when it comes to alcohol." 

" Yeah, true. Maybe you should ask him why he drank so much today." 

Slightly overhearing their conversation, Baekhyun whined once more, face nuzzling into Chanyeol's neck now to press against it, feeling way too comfortable way too soon. 

" M' tired," he mumbled, hearing the door close after some more minutes and feeling hands on his shoulders which pulled him away from the warmth, instead making him look up at the other's face. 

" Baekhyun...How much did you drink?" 

"One, two, three-" giggling briefly he held up his fingers in front of the taller's face before tears suddenly sprung to his eyes once more, making him sob instead. 

" Baek??" 

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry Chanyeol…" he hiccuped, standing there as a shivering mess, hands clenching the material of his own pullover tightly while the shame started to sink in. 

" For what? Hey, calm down, look at me." 

Feeling warm fingers cupping his jaw, he indeed looked up, staring into those big brown eyes for several seconds. 

They reminded him of chocolate, cinnamon and warmth. 

Of moments they had shared together, those which he missed. 

Maybe it was his overall condition, but he didn't want to stop being this close, mouth moving faster than he could react. 

" F-For breaking up with you," he admitted, crying even more at the way Chanyeol stared at him in utter shock, his own eyes holding an emotion that seemed to escape any second. 

" What do you mean?" 

" I never wanted to end this…N-Never wanted to leave you…" 

Sobbing hard and definitely hurting his throat, he was taken aback when he was suddenly engulfed in a hug, soft hands stroking over his back, up and down. 

" Pshh, calm down first, it's okay." 

" No, it's not...I broke your heart," he whispered, wetting Chanyeol's warm skin with his tears. 

" Hah…Yeah, well you did, but…but you were heavily affected as well, right?" 

Nodding his head vigorously at his question, he sniffed his nose briefly, before staring back up at the taller, eyes hurting from all the crying. 

"I wanted this to work out, to be friends with you once more, Yeol. I wanted to see you happy again, but my feelings for you are still there and as strong as ever. It pains me so much…so so much." 

There was a long pause where nothing was heard except his crying, not even noises from outside and now that the alcohol was washing off, he knew he probably had ruined everything once again, fear seeping into his bones. 

That was, until he felt hands cup his face, gentle thumbs rubbing the tears away. 

" Is that the reason why you're drinking so much?" 

Biting his lips instead of replying, he watched Chanyeol's brows furrow, anger and confusion mixing together. 

" Tell me, tell me why you still yearn for me?" 

" I never stopped Chanyeol…I never wanted to," he whispered, not sure if he was hurting the other even more with what he was saying, own hands now wrapping around the taller's waist to steady himself. 

" Then why? Why did you break up with me?" Chanyeol asked, tears streaming down his face as well now, and it broke the smaller. 

It broke him completely to the point where he just gave up, bearing the biggest secret he had kept on hiding from everyone. 

" Y-Your mom… "

" My mom? What? " his ex asked, still gently holding Baekhyun's face, giving him the comfort he had been used to. 

" I met her...I had introduced myself that day I broke up with you," he said, throat hurting from his sobbing, but nevertheless continuing, " She told me you would leave me. I wasn't good enough for you. I ruined you and I believed it. We are from two different social classes after all." 

" Wait, she told you that?" 

" Yes..." Baekhyun answered, scared that this would be it. That this would make the cut even more obvious. 

" But why didn't you tell me?" 

Blinking his eyes up at the other, he briefly thought about his reply, knowing there was no way around it now anyway. 

" Because you love her, she's family Chanyeol, she's your mom and I had no right to destroy that. I messed up, I know that," he hiccuped, crying all over again. 

The sudden pull back into the other's chest surprised him, making him stop crying for a second. 

He wasn't actually taken aback that Chanyeol acted the way he did, simply because he was such a good guy, soft hearted and gentle, the mere situation was just completely ridiculous. 

" You endured that? She was that mean to you?" 

" I never wanted this, Chanyeol, never. You always treated me right…I yearned for you so much. I still do, but…but I know a year has passed, everything is a mess…" Baekhyun said, fearing the next topic of their conversation, body shivering from the sudden heartache. 

" One year has passed, yeah, but Baekhyun, you still mean a lot to me. This is just an immense amount for me to take in right now."

Hearing his words he actually felt so relieved, but concurrently tired all of sudden, just simply nodding his head at his words. 

" I get that."

" Give me some time, okay? I need space." 

And space he would give him, if that meant he would see him smile again instead of crying. 

Baekhyun knew it didn't ultimately mean they would suddenly be happy again, but he sincerely was so relieved that a secret which had dragged his own health and happiness, was finally out in the open.

And it would no longer bother his heart as much as it did. 

~

He was embarrassed, no, more than that. 

After quite literally confessing his adoration and need while being a drunk mess, Baekhyun hated that he still could remember everything so clearly, especially the fact that Chanyeol held him so gently and careful.

Sitting on his bed with the worst headache in the history of headaches, he groaned when the sunlight shown right into his eyes, the pajamas he was wearing, inside out, hair even messier than usual.

It was Thursday, which meant Chanyeol was out for training and that also meant he could shower and sort his thoughts in peace, properly thinking about a way to apologize. Slowly standing up on wobbly legs, he walked over to his door, opened it only to run head first into something soft, he himself yelping loudly when he was falling all of a sudden.

He was met with a low groan and it took him a few moments to notice that he did not hit the floor, leading to him opening his eyes and witnessing Chanyeol immediately staring at him. Baekhyun laying on his more than naked chest.

There wasn’t even a possibility for him to move, simply because he was in shock and there was a strong and warm hand on his lower back, gently holding him close. Blinking his eyes back up he noticed how close their faces actually were, their breaths mingling together and intoxicating him in a way he should have ignored.

Especially when he realized that Chanyeol was staring at his lips, only stopping when Baekhyun cleared his throat. It was rather awkward but also so comfortable, making it hard to even react properly, instead forcing the smaller to sit up. Which wasn’t bad at all, wouldn’t it have been for him ending up on the taller’s thighs, ass pressed against his crotch.

“ I’m so sorry, I should have looked before walking out to avoid this. Are you hurt?” he asked, oblivious to the position they were in, simply because his head was pounding like crazy, hands clammy while pressing against naked skin.

“ A little? I think I hit my head, but Baek, how about you stand up first? You’re...you know-”

Blinking his eyes at his words, it took him a whole second to realize what the other meant, suddenly aware of what he was doing and feeling, only leading to him shooting up into a standing position, face redder than a tomato.

“ Oh god, as if it couldn’t get more embarrassing” he mumbled to himself, while seeing the taller stand up as well, body so distracting that he momentarily forgot what he wanted to say, until a hand was on his hair, gently messing the brown strands up.

“ Everything okay now?” Chanyeol asked, before retreating his hand, just standing there like a sin on legs. _Literally._

But Baekhyun knew what he just felt and what he thought could happen, were just thoughts and that ultimately made him touch his cheeks to cool down, softly nodding his head.

“ Yes everything is fine. Um, I will go to the kitchen okay?” he stuttered, excusing himself without even giving Chanyeol the chance to reply, the situation itself just so awkward and tense that he wanted to hide for hours.

-

To his surprise though, from that day onwards, the taller kept him close. 

Not physically, but he was there for him and definitely wanted to talk more. 

It was quite nice to feel like everything was okay. Baekhyun promised to give him time after all, on the other hand, nonetheless, it was still quite hard to not want to lean in for a kiss every time they talked. 

Not wanting to just jump into his lap when the opportunity was there. 

Baekhyun could feel it, he could feel that Chanyeol was holding back from whatever he wanted to tell him, and it ripped him apart slowly because he knew it was his fault. 

Maybe they still had a chance even after he ruined it the first time, but no matter the day or situation, nothing ever happened with the taller quite literally running away from it. 

However, the smaller could understand it because a broken heart was something no one would want to happen to them twice, and on top of that, on purpose. 

Which is why he refrained from doing more than the necessary, Kyungsoo able to tell something was wrong from miles away. 

It was difficult to talk about it, but one fine evening after another successful game, a lot of them had met up at the big lake right across their campus, skinny dipping and drinking to their heart's content. 

Baekhyun was there too, but the drink in his hand was untouched, his eyes focusing more on the water than on the people. 

" Hey buddy," his friend said, sitting down on the sand beside him, and he looked so damn happy. 

About a month ago he and Jongin finally talked, or better said, kissed it out, presenting themselves as a proud couple in front of everyone. 

It had been cute, and Baekhyun had been excited for his best friend, but it also made him think of what he couldn't have, returning the smile Kyungsoo was offering him. 

" Hey, Soo. Where's your boyfriend?" 

" Oh, he's in the water, look!" he said, pointing at Jongin, who was splashing the liquid around, hitting Chanyeol who was there with him. 

" Looks like he’s having fun." 

" Yeah, and you look like you're about to cry, Baek. Is it the usual?" 

Nodding his head softly, he put his drink away, placing it in the warm sand in order to look at his friend. 

" I'm not, don't worry. It's just…nevermind." 

" No, tell me." 

But before anything could happen, his friend was picked up from behind, his boyfriend rushing to the water with the smaller and throwing him into it, making Baekhyun actually snort at the situation. 

" There's nothing to laugh about, Baekhyun," a familiar voice suddenly said and picked him up as well, gentle arms wrapping around his waist and carrying him over to the water. 

If he hasn’t been in a trance, he would have yelled, but the fact that Chanyeol was holding him so close made his head spin, and his senses go into overload. 

" Chanyeol, wait-" he gasped, but found himself under the water only a second later, coming up almost immediately due to the cold temperature. 

The laughter that greeted him made him so soft and swoon, instead lightly kicking the taller's knee under the water. 

" Ow?" 

" Yeah, serves you right asshole," he said, trying to stay serious but ended up giggling, eyes gleaming with unshed love. 

" Is it too cold?" 

" No, no, it's okay, I just don't have a change of clothes with me." 

Pointing at his wet t-shirt and pants, Baekhyun also realized that most people had walked out and sat on the sand now, listening to music and drinking beer. 

Only Kyungsoo and Jongin were still in the water, but one glance at their state, and he had to heavily blush. 

His best friend being carried around, lips sucking the hell out of the other's. 

It definitely also caught Chanyeol's attention because the taller soon gently grabbed his wrist, pulling him over to some big stone to lean against it. 

" Better?" 

" Yeah, thank you. I mean, they are cute, but yeah," he answered, blush still more than evident on his face and starting to get darker due to them being alone now. 

Quietness surrounded them for some more moments, only their breathing mingling in the air. When Baekhyun turned towards the other, eyes finding his, noticing him already staring. 

" You played really good today, Yeol." 

" Thanks, seems like it caught your interest, didn't it? I see you a lot in the crowd these days," his ex said, and it made the smaller scramble for words, not wanting to admit that the reason for his visits was indeed not the game but the taller. 

" Uh, yeah. It's fun." 

Stroking his wet hair behind his ear, he sensed eyes on him once more, Chanyeol not really hiding the fact that he was checking him out. 

" What?" 

" I just thought that you really didn't change much. You're still as pretty as ever." 

Giggling nervously at his words, he tried to hide the spark of happiness, instead slipping on some algae right under his feet, shaky legs embarrassing him. 

Luckily enough, he landed against the other's chest and not on the stones, not really wanting to pull away and acting like he had to calm down first. 

" You need to be more careful, algae are so slippery." 

" Yeah, they are. I'm sorry," he whispered, looking up to meet Chanyeol's big eyes, purposely not moving a centimeter and continuing to stick to his chest. 

There was a second of them just staring at each other. It wasn't much, but it lightened up the butterflies in his stomach, knowing he had no right to do anything further. 

When soft hands suddenly cupped his cheeks and made him come the least bit closer, Baekhyun immediately leaned into the small kiss, his whole body shivering from the intensity of his feelings. 

It was weird, but it felt exactly like the first kiss they had shared all those months ago, hands almost automatically wrapping around Chanyeol's neck while his back met the stone behind him, soft moan slipping from his lips. 

It was swallowed by the other immediately, head getting fuzzy from their lips wandering over each other's, and it only made him be more affected when the taller touched his leg, holding his thigh up against his own hips. 

It was intimate and comfortable, with their heads moving from side to side out of habit. Baekhyun's nose nudged Chanyeol's over and over again before he had to pull away with a giggle. 

Taking in what just happened. 

" Wow," Chanyeol whispered, not letting the smaller go and pressing him even more against the stone, shielding him from other people's eyes. 

" Yeah, wow." 

Biting his lips, he knew this would change a lot, but he was too scared to voice it out, instead nuzzling into the hand that was holding his cheek. 

His lips were constantly tingling from the mere fact that he had kissed his long time crush so out of the blue yet just the right time. 

And he sincerely hoped this meant more than just a spark of a moment. 

" Can I take this as your answer?" 

" I already knew what I wanted to answer, but I didn't want to rush into this head first, Baek, those days I spent thinking about everything a lot," Chanyeol replied, making Baekhyun's heart skip so fast that he feared he would pass out any second. 

" You believe me?" 

" I do, I believe you, Baek, and I honestly just want to be able to hold you again and touch you whenever I want to. Make you happy the way you deserve it" 

Feeling the tears sprang to his eyes, he was ashamed of his behavior for a second, knowing he had always been terrible with hiding what he was feeling. 

" You're so cheesy, oh my god." 

" But it's true…I missed you," he replied, voice getting quieter before he kissed Baekhyun's lips once more, making his knees all wobbly and weak. 

A touch so gentle yet passionate, truly reflecting the way they felt for each other.

" I want to try this again, try it with you."

" Me too, Yeol, I want to try it so bad," Baekhyun smiled, glad the mood between them suddenly started to ease, eyes wet with happy tears now. 

And it truly was amazing how both of them seemed to sense what they wanted, which was another kiss. One that truly took Baekhyun's breath away and made him dizzy.

One that led him to kiss Chanyeol's cheek as well, before they smiled at each other, noses nudging and laughter soon making them glow like shooting stars.

" Yeah, I definitely missed this a lot." 

* * *

Dating Chanyeol was definitely an experience. It had been in the past, and it wasn't any different now. 

For Baekhyun, it was his first time to even experience mutual interest since their breakup. No other person was able to occupy his mind, and he knew the taller had his fair share of hookups and whatsoever, so being his only focus made his heart jump. 

Since that party, nothing big had happened other than watching movies together and more or less sharing some small kisses because Baekhyun was definitely way too nervous to take the next step. 

This time everything should be perfect. 

Chanyeol, though, was unusually calm and sweet, and it made him feel bad for thinking he had turned into a fuck boy. 

Well, he actually was.   
But not when they were together. 

He gave him the time he needed, and all he asked for was for them to sleep in the same bed. None of their friends knew about this. 

Firstly, because Baekhyun was not really keen on having Sehun annoy them, and secondly, Chanyeol wanted this to work properly without anyone destroying the mood. 

Not even Kyungsoo knew about it, and that made their current situation a bit more difficult. 

Still lying in bed, he had heard the doorbell ring a few times until it turned into knocking, and it made him sit up straight. 

Chanyeol was beside him, still deep in his slumber, arm holding onto Baekhyun's waist.

It made him smile softly, but also rush out of the room the next second to answer whoever was disturbing their morning. Only to see it was his best friend, and he definitely let his eyes roam all over his appearance. 

" That is most definitely not one of your shirts! Baekhyun, don't tell me it is what I think it is?" 

" Nothing??? What are you even talking about? This is just one of those shirts I don't wear in public," he tried to reassure, and it was actually ridiculous. 

He knew the other wasn't someone to judge, and he also knew that Kyungsoo literally knew everything about Chanyeol and their past relationship, but something just kept him from being honest. 

He was simply scared. 

The moment he wanted to speak up again he heard footsteps, and he knew something bad would happen when Chanyeol cleared his throat. 

" Babe, is everything alright?" 

" BABE?" Kyungsoo exclaimed, still standing there with smoothies in his hands and clear surprise placated all over his face. 

" Chanyeol not now please…" he mumbled and briefly turned around to show who was standing in the doorframe. It was enough to make the taller realize this was not the right time, and he excused himself to the bathroom. 

~

Awkward was an understatement as to what he was feeling while sitting on the couch, smoothie in his hands, and Kyungsoo sitting beside him. His eyes were boring holes into his head, and he was seriously on edge. 

" Why didn't you tell me?" 

Looking up at his question, he nervously pulled on the seam of Chanyeol's shirt, placing the drink back on the table in order to answer properly. 

" I was scared. Not because you wouldn't accept it or anything similar. Simply because it's our second try, and I want it to work and be strong before talking about it," he admitted, already ready for scolding, but instead of that, he watched his best friend come closer. 

So close that he was able to hug him, and it was so comforting and calm that he just felt his worries wash away, and his body to go slack. 

" You're my bestie. Don't you ever feel scared about telling me something, okay? I can completely understand your reasoning." 

Wrapping his arms around Kyungsoo's middle, he sighed in relief and just enjoyed their bonding for a while. Needing this right now. 

" Is he treating you well? You know, I just worry about his brand mark as a fuck boy." 

" He's wonderful to me, Soo. It's only been roughly two weeks, but he's treating me so well, he always did. I'm really comfortable," Baekhyun said with a small smile before pulling away to stare into his friend's eyes. 

The smirk greeting him, though, made him worry for a whole long second. 

" So did you, you know, get dicked down?" 

" Soo! No, we're waiting for us to settle down some more, and right now, it's too early. You're terrible," he said, but it ended up with him giggling cutely until the taller joined their conversation. 

Walking to where they were sitting in fresh clothes and wet hair, looking like a sin. His smile was the complete opposite, leaving Baekhyun to swoon because of the cuteness. 

" I interpret this as he knows about us?" 

" Yeah, I do, Park Chanyeol, and let me tell you something. I like you, you're cool, but if you break his heart, I won't shy away from breaking your pretty nose," Kyungsoo said, and it made Baekhyun break out into small giggles. 

" Soo, what the fuck? You're so overprotective." 

" No, he's right. He's a good friend for saying that. I can assure you, I won't break his heart. We already shared one, that's enough, I guess," Chanyeol answered with such confidence that it left Baekhyun speechless for a few seconds. 

It was good to see his boyfriend and his best friend getting along, and on top of that, bearing such strong emotions deep down in his chest. 

" Anyway...I will leave you two lovebirds alone again. Just wanted to bring Baek his smoothie. Make sure to use a condom, we don't want a college pregnancy," Kyungsoo announced while getting up and walking to the door and before one of them could argue, he slammed it closed. 

Gawking at his words, he turned towards the taller who was chuckling into his fist, leaving Baekhyun to throw a pillow against his head. 

" Stop laughing." 

" He really has a fierce personality, doesn't he?" 

Nodding his head softly, he reached for the smoothie his friend had brought him and took a sip before looking back up at Chanyeol. 

" He's amazing." 

* * *

Two months. 

Today marked the day they've been seeing each other for two months once again, and it was still on the same level as before. 

At one point, they had decided to tell Chanyeol's friends about their relationship, making this whole experience way more comfortable. And it was also extremely funny to see them tease the taller because actually, he was never serious about someone before.

So it seemed. 

Sehun had been the only one who knew about their past together. The taller's college life definitely had been wild. It really seemed like it clicked just right between them. 

Besides that, they were still just cuddling and kissing, and Baekhyun more or less noticed the way it made his taller boyfriend struggle the slightest bit. 

Oftentimes, he moved curious hands back down to his waist when they were watching a movie or avoided kissing deeper than he was used to. 

This simply was not because he hated it, but because he was scared of his own needs. He wanted this more than anything else, and it left him shaking to his bones. 

When they had been together, they only had sex once. His first time had been really special and Chanyeol had treasured him so damn much, Baekhyun actually not knowing at all how to move or act or do. 

He knew he could trust Chanyeol and he also knew both of them felt the same way still, nevertheless, this time he was more nervous thinking about the possibility of them having sex than anything else. 

The taller seemed unbothered and calm even if Baekhyun knew it was probably the complete opposite. 

Which is why, now that they sat on the same couch while watching whatever was on the TV, the smaller found himself staring at his tall boyfriend more than once, their hands intertwined between them.

He was wearing a shirt from the other and boxers, purposely having chosen something exposing, because he was in _the mood_.

The last few days there had been this itch for more and he absolutely hated that he felt so extremely horny, everytime they were together. Yet, he kind of felt like it wasn't any different, which is why he decided to do this slowly, starting with scooting closer until their thighs were touching.

" And? What do you think about the movie?" He asked, voice small while his eyes met Chanyeol's, the other looking so beautiful with the light from the TV shining over his features. 

" It's okay, you're more interesting than any movie"

" Oh Jesus that was so corny" Baekhyun giggled, hand in front of his face to hide his smile, before he nuzzled his head against the other's shoulder.

" Baek, aren't you cold? You have goosebumps all over your legs" 

Listening to his voice, he shivered softly when a warm hand landed on his thigh, gently stroking along the cold skin and warming him up. It was a cute act of adoration, but the smaller honestly just wanted more.

" Your hand helps." 

" Oh really?" Chanyeol cheekily replied, some sort of teasing spark in his eyes which just led to Baekhyun slowly biting his lip, nod following soon after.

" It does."

Purposely moving a bit closer to watch his fingers slide the least bit further up his leg, the smaller shivered briefly, the sudden shyness truly making it hard to just be upfront and honest.

Nevertheless, he noticed that his boyfriend kept staring at him more intensely and he also noticed that the movie was long forgotten. 

" You know, my legs aren't the only place where I'm feeling quite cold, " he suddenly said, voice timid and almost a whisper, own hand now reaching out to gently touch Chanyeol's and with one swift and confident movement, he pushed it between his own legs, pressing it against his crotch "...here too"

He knew it was daring and he also knew he was as bright as a tomato right in that moment, but he was rewarded with Chanyeol grabbing his hips and pulling him on top of his lap, immediately meeting him with a passionate kiss to the lips.

One that made his nerves alight with fire and his body to go slack in the hold of his lover, just completely wanting to dive into this moment.

Hands soon found Chanyeol's soft cheeks, to pull him closer, while their tongues fought for dominance, his body almost subconsciously starting to rut against his boyfriend's, crotches meeting in a delicious way of friction. 

That was until a hand grabbed his waist, stopping him from doing so. Chanyeol was breathing quite heavily right into his face and it made him thirst for more.

" Babe, if we don't stop here-"

" Touch me, Chanyeol-ah. It's okay...I want it" he replied, moving his hips harshly once and then waiting for a reply. One that came almost instantly with an equally as harsh thrust up. 

It made him briefly choke on his saliva, before he looked back down and started to move his hips as if he was riding him, slow and sensual, fast enough to feel good. 

There was a moment of weakness when the other suddenly slid his warm rough hands under Baekhyun's shorts, so close to where he needed him but not close enough, making him actually moan close to his lips. The room was quite dark due to only the TV providing some light, and all the smaller could see was the need in Chanyeol's eyes.

The need to do more than this, to make a mess of each other, to finally take the step they both thirsted for.

Leaning down to kiss his lips once more, their tongues moved sensually against each other, making him keen from the high he was relishing in, mouth starting to tingle from the intense touches.

His hips were rolling more roughly now, to the point his pants started to feel awfully tight, even though they weren't in the first place. Chanyeol's hands were no longer on his thighs but now wandering around to grab his ass, gentle yet demanding. 

Until two fingers pressed between his cheeks, rubbing the soft fabric along his hole. A sweet yet clear answer to what they were doing, making Baekhyun shudder and gasp right into the taller's mouth.

" Chanyeol-ah…"

" Is this okay? Would it be okay to go…further?" His boyfriend replied, voice deep and so, _so_ sweet, hands ever so carefully stopping what he was doing in order to properly look at Baekhyun. 

It was one of the many moments the smaller once again noticed, he was being treasured and taken care of. Something that wasn't ultimately promised in every relationship. And now that he looked down between them and saw just how wet he actually started to be from simply nothing, he knew there was no way to reject.

" I trust you" he mumbled, planting a soft kiss on his lover's plump lips, only to taste a smile wandering across them, one that made him giggle softly, before being turned around and pushed into the pillows on the couch.

There wasn't much space but he couldn't have cared less when Chanyeol looked so ethereal above him, knowing he was _his_.

Watching the taller slide his hands back up to Baekhyun's waist, only to hook fingers into his shorts and pull them down, he shivered and blushed, the feeling of being exposed still nothing he was used to and making him seem almost shy.

Knowing though, that his boyfriend absolutely adored him and seeing that exact thing reflect in his eyes, he was ready to face it all, slightly spreading his legs to make room for Chanyeol to lean down. Both of them rubbing against each other in a desperate attempt of wanting to create friction. 

"...I like that…" he admitted, a shy smile on his face before his lips were captured in a kiss once more, the other making his head spin like crazy. It was perfect, it truly seemed to lead to something even better, yet, the sudden banging on the door made both of them jump apart.

Eyes met in shared confusion and worry, especially because of the fact that Baekhyun was half naked, and for a moment they thought they imagined the noise, when it happened again.

" Maybe it's important, Chanyeol-ah, " the smaller said, disappointment evident on his face while he slowly sat back up, smiling when his boyfriend helped him into his shorts. A small gesture which made his heart skip a beat.

" Possible, but it still ruined our moment" 

Seeing the pout on his lips, Baekhyun giggled and reached over to pinch his cheek, trying to comfort him while actually thinking the same.

" It's okay, now go open the door and see who interrupted us."

By now he hoped it seriously was something important, because even though he didn't show it he honestly was heavily annoyed by the interruption. Pulling up his shirt, to cover his shoulder, he got up as well to see why Chanyeol took so long, only to witness Sehun leaning against the doorframe, face contorted with tears.

" What happened??" he asked, worried voice gaining the attention of his boyfriend who immediately pulled him into his side, gently stroking along his arm.

" I ha-hate him...He said he doesn't want to date me" Sehun mumbled, words slurred but drenched in sadness and it honestly made Baekhyun want to cry as well, reaching out to hug the tall man close to his chest.

" It's okay, come inside and I will prepare some tea."

Locking eyes with his boyfriend, he handed Sehun over and instead waddled into their small kitchen to heat up some water, surprised to see such a side from the other, but simultaneously wanting to help him no matter what.

Sure their evening was ruined, but now this was more important. 

~

"S-So I don't know why, but we hit it off so well. I asked him today and he seemed so scared and rejected me. I wasn't even able to say anything and just ran out."

Listening to his words and the pained tone of his voice, Baekhyun made sure to stroke over Sehun's leg, as emotional support, not knowing what else to do to help. Especially because he never would have thought someone like him could be serious about someone else.

" How about you give him a bit more time? Maybe he needs to think about it properly " Chanyeol suggested, being the one on the other side of his best friend, tea in his hands for Sehun to drink.

" Yeah I agree, maybe he was overwhelmed, Sehun-ah"

" Really? Is that possible?" Sehun replied, eyes shining with hope, while he also looked extremely drained and tired, making Baekhyun nod his head and offer a smile.

Because after all, he knew how scary this could be for certain people, and he also knew that it could make situations worse. Yet, he hoped this whole thing would work out for the tall guy.

" It is. For now you should sleep okay? Stay here and lay down on the couch. We will sort this out tomorrow."

~

Two weeks passed by like nothing after that and while they didn't have the chance to be this close again till now, Sehun on the other hand was able to talk it out with his lover.

Junmyeon. A tall gentle guy, somehow the complete opposite of the other, but suiting him like they were meant to be. It turned out to really have been a decision of fear and after they met up once more, Chanyeol had received the relieving message of their fresh relationship.

Today they were supposed to go to another party, and this would also be the first one together as a couple. 

The tension that had settled between them was strong, and no matter how hard Baekhyun tried to ignore it, he knew he wouldn't be successful. Ever since they were close to having sex, those touches he had felt, lingered in his mind.

The day actually had started quite good, with Chanyeol and his team winning yet another game, Baekhyun running to him onto the field only to be picked up and twirled around, soft giggles being the only thing they both heard. Soon hands finding his ass to gentle hold him close to the taller's body.

" You did so well, Chanyeol-ah." 

" I do deserve a kiss for that, don't I?" the taller had asked and who was the smaller to reject that, instead having leaned down to press their lips against each other, ignoring the hollering behind them. 

Now though, Baekhyun found it quite difficult to avoid that they both wanted something more. Something intimate and addicting.

~

" Babe, how do I look?" 

Turning around, from where he was searching through his closet, he saw Chanyeol standing in front of him. 

Ripped jeans, tight black shirt and slicked back hair. A literal God. 

It left him speechless for a second, because he knew his boyfriend was handsome, but this just did something to him, and he could not control it. 

" Hot." 

" Hm? I look hot? You're drooling, Baekhyun," Chanyeol teased, and it made him snap out of his trance and click his tongue. 

" I'm not, asshole." 

Turning back around to the closet, he was greeted with a hug only seconds later, intense woody perfume invading his nostrils and leaving him to cuddle back into his hold. 

" I don't know what I should wear. You know, I'm not the best dresser." 

" Lies. You always look adorable. Let me pick something for you," the taller suggested and kissed his neck, before walking in front of him to search through his clothes. 

It made Baekhyun feel curious about whatever he would pick, and it definitely was a surprise when he handed him a black blouse. 

Soft fabric sliding over his hands. A gift from his parents. 

He had never worn it though. 

" This and…Those pants." 

Reaching for the ripped skinny jeans as well, he was taken aback for a few moments because this was out of his comfort zone, but Chanyeol seemed so eager and excited that he couldn't say no. 

Taking both and leaving for the bathroom, he came back out, fully dressed and hair a bit fluffier than usual, but before he could say something, Chanyeol pounced on him and kissed him breathless. 

It made his hands weakly reach up to wrap around his shoulders, searching for leverage, and try to not succumb to this feeling. Glad when the other pulled away. 

" Why so sudden?" 

" You look really beautiful, and I just couldn't hold back. Sorry," Chanyeol apologized, but the smile displayed on his face told Baekhyun he wasn't really feeling bad about this. 

" Idiot...But thank you. Should we head out?" 

" Yes. Good idea." 

~

The party was booming. Quite literally. 

People were already drunk and dancing or making out with each other either on the grass or whatever furniture they found, and Baekhyun was more than glad that Chanyeol had his arm wrapped around him, leading him inside safely. 

Events like those were not his favorite, but he knew his boyfriend loved them, and he would quite literally do anything for him to be happy. 

To his luck Kyungsoo was also present, as well as Jongin and also some other friends of the taller. 

Watching them play seven minutes in heaven, Baekhyun and Chanyeol decided to join after having some drinks, tispy enough to forget about his anxiety for a while, because this would be the first time playing it. 

He knew the basic rules, but he was still nervous to end up with someone he didn't like. 

Luckily enough, they weren't the first ones, and he watched Jongdae, a more than friendly colleague of his, leave with some girl, holding both of his thumbs up. 

Chanyeol purposely didn't sit beside him, but right now, with the alcohol pumping through his veins, he was craving his boyfriend's touch, and it made him stare across the circle they sat in, watching the taller chat with some guy. 

He was pretty, and Baekhyun was sure that he knew him, making him think hard for a while until it clicked. 

One of his hookups. 

To be exact, the one who ridiculed him because of the birth control pills. 

_Shit._

The view, however, made him reach for one more beer. It didn't suit his taste, but downing it in one go sounded perfect, especially because it stopped the aching of his heart for a while. 

He knew he didn't have to fear anything, but the way he kept touching Chanyeol's arm did something to him that he didn't quite like. 

Jongdae's return pulled him out of his thoughts and made him focus on his friend and his red lips. 

" Seems like you had fun?" 

" More than that. She's amazing!!!!" 

Giggling at his words, he didn't notice the bottle being turned again, and it landed on him with a gasp. Letting his eyes wander over everyone who were sitting on the floor, he stopped at Chanyeol, but looked away again when he saw the boy still clinging onto his arm. 

It was not like he was jealous, no, it just didn't sit well with him. 

Watching the bottle being turned the second time, his heart rate picked up steadily the slower the bottle moved, and when it stopped at his own boyfriend, he was both relieved and annoyed.

" Ohhhh, the two lovebirds! Just don't end up fucking in that cabin," Sehun hollered, but his comment made Baekhyun blush furiously. 

The fact that this was the one thing they didn't do just yet suddenly made him feel pressured and stand up. Walking over to the cabin by himself. Steps a bit shaky due to the alcohol. But footsteps were already heard behind him and he knew Chanyeol followed. 

Once the door was closed, it was quite dark, but the room had a bed, and a small lamp on the night desk, making Baekhyun walk over to turn it on, only to see the taller's worried expression. 

"Don't look at me like that, Yeol." 

" But…His comment was unnecessary. I'm sorry if it hurt you," he apologized, and it made Baekhyun softly shake his head and walk back towards him. 

" You know what bothers me more? That you let one of your hookups hold onto you like he was in a relationship with you and not me." 

Knowing he was quite drunk, his mouth was loose, and he regretted his words the minute they greeted the world. Chanyeol had been nothing but sweet and caring, and his words were hurtful to some extent. 

" Are you jealous?" 

" Of course I am! He…I should touch you and not that rat," he whined before stepping closer and pulling Chanyeol down by his collar to be able to kiss his lips, " You're _my_ boyfriend. You're _mine_." 

Feeling the other's arms wrap around his waist to pull him closer, he let his hands wander up to his neck, gently carding his fingers through his hair while kissing him over and over again. 

But this time he let Chanyeol push his tongue inside, and he let him play with him. Make his head all fuzzy and dizzy, and his body go slack. 

The hand wandering down and up under his shirt was welcomed as well, because it was cold, comforting his hot skin. The second he started to rub over his nipples, though, Baekhyun felt like going insane. 

A small moan left his lips, and Chanyeol immediately swallowed it up before pulling away, leaving the smaller to pant and blush heavily. 

" We shouldn't do this when you're drunk, Baby. I want you to want this," he said, and it made Baekhyun pull him into another kiss because why could he not just shut up?

" I want this. I want you. Just not here," he answered, and he could see the small smile playing on his lover's lips. 

It was quite fitting for them to be interrupted right then and there. Seven minutes being over faster than he would have thought. 

And it was even better to finally be outside of that house, literally running back to their dorm room. Anticipation pumping through his blood. 

~

Actually, it was quite funny how free and unbothered Baekhyun suddenly felt. All the fear and anxiety washing away the minute his back hit the mattress, Chanyeol climbing on top of him slowly. 

He worried about a lot of things, a hell lot, especially a much needed confrontation with the taller's parents, but right now, all he could think about was-

Chanyeol, Chanyeol, Chanyeol. 

" You sure?" 

" Hmm…Yeah," he replied, his own small hands coming up to touch his boyfriend's face, gently stroking along his cheekbones. The weak lighting from the hallway making him look ethereal. 

" It's always been _only you_." 

" Baby, you're so drunk," Chanyeol chuckled softly, before leaning down to kiss Baekhyun's lips roughly, a quiet moan slipping from his mouth, " but I agree, _only you_." 

Meeting his hungry kisses once more, the smaller opened his mouth the slightest bit, welcoming his warm tongue which effortlessly made his legs shiver. 

Soon enough, he also felt big rough hands cupping his chest, squeezing and massaging his skin and nipples and leaving his head to spin. Breath so short that he had to pull away for a second. 

And maybe it was the alcohol, but all of a sudden, he had to giggle, endorphins spreading all throughout his body, making him feel lighter. 

" You're so beautiful, Baekhyun, so so beautiful," Chanyeol whispered, his eyes so big and gentle that he honestly could easily get lost in them. 

" And you are incredibly handsome, Chanyeol, so handsome that I want you to eat me up," he replied, words mumbled due to his shyness, but his eyes never leaving the taller's. 

Watching his boyfriend sit up between his legs, Baekhyun's breath hitched when skilled fingers unbuttoned his pants and pulled them down, including his underwear, cold air making his exposed skin shiver. He knew his legs were shaking from nervousness and he also knew he was already hard, but the taller had his way of making him feel comforted.

" Chanyeol..." 

" Hm?" 

Meeting his eyes for a brief moment, Baekhyun simply stared, and then took all his confidence together to spread his legs, quite literally offering himself willingly. Sure it was dark, but he knew Chanyeol was able to see everything and maybe that made him blush even more than before. 

It took all his willpower not to cry, especially when he saw the way Chanyeol swallowed hard, crawling back between his legs with one hand lazily jerking off the smaller. 

" Ah…" 

Moaning softly, Baekhyun bugged his hips into the touch, his own fingers finding his mouth to help him muffle the noises, but he had to whine loudly when Chanyeol's other hand joined, gently rubbing along his rim. 

" Is it okay for me if I-" 

Shutting him up with another soft small kiss, Baekhyun simply nodded his head, heart rate picking up when the taller reached for the lube and uncapped it. 

The liquid looked cold, and he was more than touched when his boyfriend heated it up between his hands, carefully pushing in one finger. 

It was a weird sensation, yet it soon started to feel good, breathy moans leaving his lips while Chanyeol pushed in a second and a third, finding the sweet spot inside of him easily, only to rub over it and drive him insane. It was as if suddenly all sparks ignited inside of his body, back arching up prettily.

" O-Oh my God…Yeol." 

" It feels good here, right?" the taller asked, no teasing in his voice while he moved his fingers and kissed Baekhyun again, lips already red from all the sucking and biting. 

" Hmm.." 

There wasn't the chance of answering him properly, not when the taller was fingering him deep and slowly, the heat crawling up his legs and making his dick twitch, eyes rolling to the back of his head the more he pressed against his prostate. 

It reminded him of their first time back in the days, them being completely unprepared and clumsy, yet able to make each other feel good. Now it was completely different and he kind of adored their growth.

Watching Chanyeol reach for a condom, the smaller stopped him, softly shaking his head and he didn't know if it was the alcohol, but his confidence definitely got a boost. 

" Don't use it. I'm taking the pill." 

" But there's still a certain risk," Chanyeol tried to argue, shutting his mouth the moment Baekhyun reached into his pants to cup his erection. 

"I want to feel you...please."

Would it have been any kind of other situation, they probably would have thought about it a bit longer, right now though, the need and alcohol was too strong, taking over control and rationality. 

Baekhyun didn't regret it one bit when Chanyeol pushed into him, his body almost immediately accommodating to his size, legs wrapping around the taller's waist while his hands grabbed the pillow behind himself, clenching the fabric. 

It sure was a stretch, and it had been forever since he had sex- the fingering he did by himself not counted- but he liked it because he was doing this with his boyfriend, the one he truly loved, the one he could trust. 

And on top of that, the taller started drawing circles onto his hips, lazy kisses being placed on top of Baekhyun's head and nose. A comfort only he could provide, something that drove him insane and subconsciously clench around the other. 

" Does it hurt?" 

" Hm…a little but it's okay, Chanyeol-ah," Baekhyun replied, nose nudging the other's before capturing his lips in a kiss, focusing on playing with his lover's tongue for a second, before he softly had to moan at the sudden thrust. 

It started off easy, the bed moving with them for a second before Chanyeol's hands moved onto Baekhyun's thighs holding him as close as possible and thrusting into him slowly and deep. 

The one thing that the smaller absolutely loved because that way he was able to feel him completely. Simultaneously, though, it felt almost too good, leading him to carefully squeeze his boyfriend's biceps, gaining his attention. 

" Can you…I mean, just a little bit faster?" 

" Your wish is my command," Chanyeol replied, a soft smile making Baekhyun swoon, before his head dropped onto the pillow, moans being forced out of his throat due to the picked up rhythm, the taller hitting his sweet spot over and over again. 

" God…." 

" Thanks, but you can call me Chanyeol." 

Taken aback by his words, the smaller truly couldn't believe it, breaking out into a laughing fit while having sex, both of them stopping their movements for a second and bathing in the moment instead. 

It was dead quiet except for their heavy breathing and the bed creaking. Enough time for Baekhyun to stare up at Chanyeol and take in the way he looked at him. 

Brown eyes full of adoration, kiss bitten lips pursed while his cheeks were flaring red. 

He was truly beautiful. 

And once again, this intense feeling he had felt before, came crawling back, making his head swim even more, and maybe it was because the booze seemed to make everything easier, but from one second to the other he had cupped Chanyeol's face, pulling him into a soft kiss only to whisper against his lips. 

" I love you, Park Chanyeol…I truly love you so much," he said, voice a bit hoarse from him holding back his emotions and especially when the taller stared at him, nothing else. 

It was as if the moment froze because when his lover suddenly buried his head into Baekhyun's shoulder, he felt like being woken up from a dream, skin slowly feeling wet. 

" Yeol?? Are you crying?" 

" I-I am…You know, this is what I wanted you to tell me all those months ago, I can't believe this is happening right now," he sobbed, making the smaller also feel like crying. 

" I'm so sorry that I hurt you so much back then…I…You're my first love, Chanyeol, and I want you…" 

"Hm?" the taller replied, looking up again with swollen eyes, leading Baekhyun to bite his lips briefly before continuing. 

" I want you to be my last love as well." 

Smiling at his boyfriend when he did the same, they found each other in a kiss once more before Chanyeol started to move again, slowly but harder. 

Their tears were mingling together, breath hot against their skin while Baekhyun was moaning louder than before, the taller's groans right beside his ear. 

" Chanyeol...I'm close," he whispered, scratching his nails gently across the other's back, legs shaking from the intensity of pleasure before he felt his lover starting to jerk him off. 

It felt amazing, more than that, especially because when he came undone, Chanyeol also orgasmed, painting his warm walls white and making him scream louder. 

Their moans were loud but started to be weaker while they calmed down, Baekhyun suddenly feeling like his whole body was on fire, oversensitivity stroking every fiber of his skin. 

Shuddering when his lover pulled out, he watched him reach for some tissues, cleaning the smaller's stomach briefly, before he was being pulled into a warm sweaty chest, not caring about anything except this moment. 

Chanyeol's lips were ghosting over his hair before meeting the smaller's ear, and his whispered words made him tear up once more, cuddling into his neck this time, just seeking the comfort. 

" _I love you too, Baekhyun-ah_. " 

* * *

  
Everything seemed to go well for some time after that. 

Baekhyun was really inseparable from the taller, not leaving Chanyeol alone for even a second. 

It was actually cute because they started to sleep in one room together, going to parties only to sit on the porch and make out, no alcohol included. 

Speaking their feelings into existence, it truly seemed to change the whole situation, their friends noticing the difference as well, but rather than mocking them, they were really supportive. 

Especially Sehun. 

~~~

_" You know, Baek, I just want to thank you," Sehun said, beer in one hand while he stared up at the night sky, the party behind them in the house loud and crazy._

_" For what?"_

_Looking at his boyfriend's best friend for a second, he tried to make out his intentions but failed almost instantly._

_" For making Chanyeol happy again. You don't want to know how many nights I had to comfort him to sleep because he cried his heart out."_

_Feeling his heart drop at the words, the guilt came crawling back even though they had talked it out already._

_" He did?"_

_"Hell yeah, he did. There was not one day where he didn't miss you, and when you suddenly appeared in front of him once more, he didn't know how to act. Baekhyun, believe me when I say he acted like an asshole because he was scared of his still existing feelings for you," Sehun explained, eyes a bit teary before he stood up again._

_" I will go back inside now, but look who's waiting for you," he continued, pointing at the tree close by where Chanyeol was leaning against, " I truly wish you two so much luck."_

_That evening ended with Baekhyun showering his taller lover with kisses, telling him over and over again, how much he loved him._

~~~~

Maybe it was just the fact that they finally had taken all steps possible for their relationship to function properly, but since that night Chanyeol was literally glued to Baekhyun. 

There was not one minute or second he didn't leave a kiss on any part of the smaller's body, not one where he didn't hug him or massaged his shoulders. 

And Baekhyun enjoyed it to the maximum. He was being loved the way he always had wanted and he treasured every minute they were able to share with each other.

Nevertheless, perfection was cursed to break at one point and for the smaller there had settled a weird feeling in his stomach. Something he couldn't quite understand nor sort in any known category. 

He felt like something was about to happen, and he was right when one fine Saturday morning the doorbell rang. 

Waking up from his slumber and having to remove Chanyeol's hands from his waist, he walked to the door only dressed in the taller's football trikot and boxers, tiredness obvious in his eyes. It was unusual for strangers to ring, making him believe it was probably Kyungsoo or Sehun.

The moment he opened the door, though, his blood froze because in front of him stood the taller's mother, eyes immediately glaring at Baekhyun. She had this terrifying attitude, stance so tall and dark that the smaller immediately cowered.

" What are _you_ doing here?" 

" Mrs. Park…" he replied, immediate fear settling in his stomach and making him feel nauseous. 

" Are you wearing my son's clothes? This has to be a joke. Where is he?" she asked, voice cold and harsh while she walked inside, almost pushing Baekhyun to the floor. 

The commotion seemingly caught Chanyeol's attention because about two seconds later he stood in the small hallway, only clad in sweatpants. 

" Mom."

" What is going on here? And why is that boy together with you? Again," she snarled, the atmosphere in the room going up with anger. 

" He's my boyfriend, Mom. Why shouldn't he be here?" Chanyeol replied, and even if Baekhyun wanted to smile because of his words, he rather felt like crying, the situation making him anxious. 

" Hah. Boyfriend? Wait until I tell that to your Father. He will disinherit you immediately."

" Do I look like I care about that??" 

"Park Chanyeol, don't you dare yell at me." 

" I don't give a fuck!!" 

Watching the scene unfold Baekhyun couldn't avoid crying, the voices around him getting louder with every passing second, watching Chanyeol's family fall apart because of him, and the guilt coming back once more.

Why did he even try to take this second chance? 

Rushing in front of his lover he held his arms out, shielding him from his mother before looking at her, eyes filled with tears. 

" Mrs. Park, please don't blame him. He's a good man." 

" You don't have to tell me that. Instead of you, he at least has class," she replied and the smaller could feel Chanyeol wanting to push him off, but he didn't budge. 

" I totally understand your anger but please…not today. Chanyeol has a big game today, he doesn't need any distraction," he explained, seeing the slightest bit of understanding in her eyes before she huffed her breath. 

" I see. Well, I came here to tell you that I set you up for a blind date next week. Don't you dare not come. No matter what you say, I won't accept this relationship." 

"Mom-" 

"No. I won't listen to you. You've lost your right to talk to me the moment you stepped into bed with someone like him," she continued, pointing her finger harshly at Baekhyun before walking back to the front door, " Don't you dare not show up." 

~

Standing there for several minutes, in complete and utter shock, Baekhyun let loose of his fear and anxiety sobbing into his hands before he was engulfed by his lover. 

" Sshh, babe I'm here. It's okay." 

" Nothing is okay, Yeol, they hate me and because of that they hate you too," he cried, hiding in the taller's neck while the other was stroking over his back. 

" I-It's not right of them to act like they do, Baek. They can't talk to you like that." 

" They are still family, Yeol. You only have one," he replied, looking up to meet his eyes while his hand gently cupped his lover's cheek, " I love you so much, but I can't stand seeing you being hated by your own parents." 

" I don't care." 

" Goddammit, you should care! I appreciate this a lot, Chanyeol, a whole lot. But it's not that easy, okay?" he tried to explain, knowing that the taller simply refused to calm down. 

" And what do you plan on doing? Breaking up with me again?" 

" What?? No..." Baekhyun sobbed, flashbacks forcing his head to hurt once more. 

" Listen Baekhyun, ever since you told me about the situation that happened last year, I've been trying to talk to my mom. She always refused completely. She knew about us, I told her."

"Huh??" the smaller countered, confusion big on his swollen face. 

" She wants to make you feel guilty and bad, and I can't stand that. I thought about this for some time already, but I didn't know when it would happen. Guess now is the time..."

" What do you mean?" 

" Let's break up, Baekhyun," Chanyeol replied, and it made the smaller only break out into more tears, sobs louder than before. 

" No…No please." 

" Calm down angel...It's not like what you think it is," Chanyeol answered, gentle hands stroking Baekhyun's cheeks. 

" Then e-explain, please…" 

" We will break up, keep a distance between us but only for show. I don't know how long it will take, but trust me, okay? I have a plan." 

Calming down the slightest bit, Baekhyun sniffled his nose but nodded because this was still a better option than breaking up for real. 

" Okay…" 

" Do you trust me, babe?" 

" Yeah, I trust you a lot," he replied, leaning up into the small kiss that was being offered before nuzzling into his chest. 

" Good. I know your parents don't live close by, so I had a little talk with Kyungsoo some time ago in case this would happen. Summer break is close, so you will go with him back to his parents, okay? Give me these roughly two months to work this out." 

Sure he was confused, but in his current state, he easily agreed, simply just hoping for whatever Chanyeol was planning to work.

" Hm, okay.. I will. I trust you with this, Chanyeol," he answered, kissing his lover once more, longer this time, knowing he should cherish this. 

" It will work out. I promise you this." 

* * *

It truly had sounded like a good plan, and Baekhyun had been more than thankful for knowing that Chanyeol cared this much. 

Nevertheless, the moment they had to separate, it indeed hurt a lot. 

Breaking up was not a nice feeling, and even though they had to do this, in order for the taller's plan to work out, Baekhyun suffered a lot from it. 

Living together with Kyungsoo and his family turned out to be great, though, because they were extremely supportive and sweet. Jongin visited them a lot these days as well.

Everything actually seemed to go well until he regularly started to throw up at random times of the day. Almost two months into staying with his best friend.

It was weird, and he honestly felt like it was the anxiety and sadness he was feeling, but it truly started to worry him when Kyungsoo came back from grocery shopping, holding out a pregnancy test for the other. 

Sitting on his best friend's bed with his legs crossed, he huffed his breath with a smile, one that disappeared quite fast as well. 

" You can't be serious." 

" Honey, I am. You've been acting weird for a while now. Especially when mixing strawberries with cucumbers. You hate cucumbers," Kyungsoo explained, the frown on his face soft yet judging. 

" I'm stressed as hell, Soo. It's not that surprising," he replied, lips pouting but still reaching for the test, reading over the instructions. 

" When was the last time you had sex?" 

" Uh, the party where we played seven minutes in heaven, I think."

Biting his lips in thought, he watched Kyungsoo going through his calendar, counting the days. 

" That's about six weeks. Did you use a condom?" 

" Of course we…No wait we didn't, but I'm taking the pill," he replied, sudden fear creeping up his throat, face turning pale. 

" It's 99% safe, there's always a risk. Please for the sake of your own health, take that damn test." 

~

Judging from the situation as well as the reasoning, it shouldn't have surprised him when there were two lines on the test, heart sinking so deep that the tears didn't even dare to jump out. 

Standing there, completely quiet, his legs started to shake until he crumbled to his knees, body just giving up. 

He was lucky because Kyungsoo was there for him, rocking him back and forth gently. 

" Everything is going to be okay, Baek."

" I-I'm pregnant," he cried, shocked about it, but there was also a small feeling in his chest which seemed to set his nerves on fire, similar to happiness. 

They were interrupted anyhow, when Jongin walked into the room, donuts in one hand and a big smile plastered on his face. 

The way he dropped the food immediately and rushed towards them was damn cute. 

" What happened?? Is he okay?" 

" Babe, could you get us a glass of water?" Kyungsoo asked softly before Baekhyun was able to hear the taller's footsteps leave the room once more, them both standing up carefully to walk to the bed. 

Laying down with the truth sinking in, he absentmindedly touched his stomach, not sure what he was feeling and when Jongin came back, he downed that glass of water like his life depended on it. 

" So, what's wrong? Do you miss Chanyeol?" 

" Yeah, but that's not the main reason...I'm...I'm pregnant" 

" You're what?" the taller exclaimed, receiving a light punch to his arm from his boyfriend. 

" He is pregnant. Don't be insensitive."

" It's okay, Soo, I'm also shocked," Baekhyun replied, suddenly tired once more from all the crying. 

" Do you want us to leave you alone for a while?" 

Nodding his head softly, he slipped under the covers, burying his head into the pillow before closing his eyes. 

If he needed one thing right now, it actually was his lover's comfort. Something he couldn't have, and it left him to wrap his arms around his stomach, thinking about the life that was growing inside of him.

~

The moment it indeed settled in that he was pregnant, was when he laid on the bed in the doctor's clinic, cool gel all over the slight bump, ultrasound device rubbing over his skin. 

He wasn't able to contact Chanyeol nor would it have helped him in any way, he knew the taller was with his parents, his calls probably ending up suspicious, so he didn't dare. 

He knew that the taller was currently living in his own apartment, not in their dorm room. Enough distance between them too, but not enough to not make Baekhyun ask Sehun for the address. 

Just in case something might happen. 

Kyungsoo had come with him because he had needed a hand to hold onto and when the little heartbeat resonated in the room he immediately broke out into sobs, glad he wasn't alone. 

" Congratulations, Mr. Byun. The little bean is healthy. Look, here it is. You're in your sixth week and everything seems to go well, " the doctor said, pointing at the screen with her slender fingers and what Baekhyun saw was indeed just a bean, but it was already so beautiful to him. 

" Thank you so much, doctor," he sobbed out, needing at least five minutes to calm down while they walked out of the clinic, his best friend holding his hand gently.

" So it's real real. Did you already talk to your parents Baek?" 

" Yeah, I did. I video called them a few days ago. Of course, they were shocked, I'm only 22. Yeol is 23. We're quite young." 

" And? Were they angry?" Kyungsoo asked, thumb gently rubbing over the other's hand. 

" No. My mom asked if I wanted to move back in with them, take a break from college. They are really supportive. After all, my mom had me quite early as well," he explained, a small smile on his lips. 

He could still remember the talk he once had with his mom, about having a baby and his future. Never would Baekhyun have thought that it could be the current so soon.

" That's nice, really. What about Chanyeol? When do you want to tell him?" his best friend asked, while both of them stopped at the red light. 

" Soon. For now I just need a few days to myself, so the news can settle in. I want to tell him with a clear head, instead of acting hysterical. " 

This was most definitely not an easy situation, but he also knew that his lover was facing enough problems at the moment. There was no way in hell that he would complicate everything, by merely not keeping his distance. 

He would tell him, he had to, just not now. 

* * *

  
Nevertheless after almost another week had passed, Baekhyun seriously started to struggle with not being able to see Chanyeol. He started to calm down about his situation and he just wished he could have run over and tell him, but there was a certain amount of fear as well.

Fear of being rejected, fear of ending up alone.

His bump was growing steadily, now as big as a tiny watermelon, male pregnancy overall being quite different when it came to size, and rubbing over it started to be a habit. A sweet one, simply because it relaxed him and it helped accepting the fact that there was a life growing inside of him.

He still did not know what Chanyeol's overall plan was and if it was working, but the trust he had in him was big enough for them two. 

His hormones, though, started to be a mess. One second he was happy, the next he was terribly sad. 

And it only got worse when he talked to Sehun on one fine evening, having received a call from the taller. Once a week, he usually got an update from the other, only this time ending up hearing that Chanyeol was in a terrible condition, stressed and tired, but overall missing the smaller a lot. 

~~~~

" _Baek?_ " 

" Sehun, hey. Long time no hear. How are you?" 

Nervously fiddling with the hem of his big oversized pullover, he could hear the other sighing loudly, scared he would receive bad news. 

" _I'm good! Also Cha-.. I mean, how are you?_ " 

" I'm more or less okay. There is a lot I would love to talk about, but I have a more serious problem right now. You wanted to talk about Chanyeol, right? Please tell me he's okay," he asked, lip between his teeth softly biting the flesh. 

" _Ah. Well, he fainted two days ago, but I took care of him immediately. Overworked himself, since then he had slept a whole lot and to be honest Baek, he's really not doing great_." 

Hearing his words, he hated his heart for breaking into pieces so damn fast. 

Knowing that his lover was suffering just as much as he did, made him want to cry, but he held back in order to be able to answer. 

" Oh.. Okay, I'm glad you took care of him, thank you. Anyway, do you know if he is at home right now?" he asked, tears already in his eyes from the sheer worry, knowing what he was about to do was dumb and not thought through. 

" _Yeah, he is actually! I went over to his place two hours ago to bring him some food. Why? Do yo-_ " 

" Thank you! I will call you back, okay?" 

Ending the call in a rush, he got up carefully and called for Kyungsoo, because he needed help to slip into his shoes before grabbing his spare keys and rushing out of the apartment. 

It was actually ridiculous how he didn't care about anything but Chanyeol's health, leaving him to speed walk through the stuffed streets. Not caring when it started to rain. 

That's how he ended up in front of his lover's apartment, surprise on both of their faces. 

"Baekhyun." 

"Chanyeol." 

* * *

_The present_

Sitting on his couch, he felt weird about the situation and the way his feelings had once again controlled him, but he didn't regret it if that meant he was able to see Chanyeol's face. 

The taller who was sitting in front of him, clothes wrinkled, eyes tired and hair a mess. 

He looked terrible, and it was extremely unusual for him to even end up in such a situation. 

Nevertheless, it was dead quiet. 

The coffee in his hands did little to nothing to warm him up, and the towel around his shoulders was a sweet gesture, but he didn't care about his own health right now. 

" So, I heard you fainted Chanyeol. Are you okay now? I'm sorry I came over without telling you especially because we planned it differently. I was just so worried. " 

"Baek… I seriously don't think we should worry about me right now." 

Staring into his eyes, Baekhyun softly shook his head while subconsciously stroking his bump, gaining the attention of the taller. 

" This.. " Chanyeol breathed out, obvious shock but also adoration in his eyes, and it made Baekhyun bite his lips. 

Not sure where to start, he took a deep breath, just deciding to immediately dive into the subject they both were avoiding. 

" I'm okay, our...our baby is okay as well." 

Following the taller's gaze, he smiled softly when he could see the fondness in his eyes, but it disappeared as soon as it had appeared, leaving him to wait for a reply. 

" Yo-you're pregnant," Chanyeol said, voice unusually weak and scratchy, shoulders shaking from him holding back his tears. 

It made Baekhyun carefully stand up again and walk over to where he was sitting, reaching for his shivering hand and placing it on his bump. 

" Hm, I am. Almost three months along. I only found out last week." 

Hoping he would get the hint, he waited for his reaction and sighed in relief when Chanyeol made big eyes, starting to stroke over his stomach softly. 

The motion itself calmed Baekhyun's nerves a little, still extremely nervous and scared overall. 

Nevertheless he kneeled down on the space beside the taller, needing to sit comfortably due to his back aching the slightest bit, never letting Chanyeol's hand disappear from his stomach regardless. 

It seemed like he was in trance, whether that was a good or bad sign, and it made the smaller fidget.

" Wh-when? And how did you find out?" 

"Remember the night where we didn't use a condom? I know it's my fault, and I know it's a mess, but Chanyeol if you don't want this or can't do this, I will completely understand. I rushed over without thinking after hearing that you fainted. I forgot about my pretty obvious belly for a moment," he admitted, hands folded in his lap hiding his nervousness. 

" You're so cute," the taller replied, tears softly running down his cheeks, making him look so vulnerable and soft," But yeah, I remember that night. It was… Wild." 

" Wild, indeed. Well, seems like the pill didn't quite prevent a pregnancy, because that was the night little bean was made," he explained, his own hand coming down to gently stroke his small bump. 

" Little bean?" 

Hearing the fondness in his voice, he watched the other's eyes blink down his body once more, blushing at how he had missed this look in his eyes. Just the simple adoration that greeted him every time they were together. 

" Because it's still so small, I have pictures but they are at Kyungsoo's apartment. Chanyeol? I-I…i-it's your baby as well, and I seriously apologize for only coming to you now. I want you to know that I'm keeping it, and I would completely understand it if you don't want to be involved. We're still so young, and I don't want to take away your freedom and opportunities."

That was the exact thing he had feared. 

Knowing that when they would talk, he would have to listen to whatever Chanyeol had to say, scared it would be something he wouldn't be able to take. 

To his surprise though the taller suddenly started to sob heavily, hiding behind his hands. It made Baekhyun scoot closer to carefully stroke over the other's thigh, trying to calm him down. 

"Yeol? Hey, you can talk to me." 

" Y-you know...Those two months were the absolute worst, Baekhyun. I tried sorting everything out, signed a lot of documents, clashed with my parents more than once only to finally find a solution. It's a hard one, but I'm ready to risk it if that means I can stay with you. I was actually so close to call you, wanting to meet up, and now you're here, and you're pregnant.”

Feeling his chest hurt from the way the taller was sobbing, he could taste his own tears dropping onto his lips, letting his hand intertwine with his lover's. There was nothing that could comfort him more than the touch of the taller and he knew it was the same the other way around as well.

" What solution did you find, Yeollie?" he whispered, voice suddenly too weak to be louder while his fingers now stroked through the taller's hair. 

And the moment their eyes met he leaned forward, just giving Chanyeol the softest peck possible. It was enough, even so, to alight every nerve in his system, making him crave more. 

" I told them we broke up, and they were more than delighted, but it gave me enough time to search for certain documents back at our place. I talked to my lawyer a lot, and how to get my part of the savings they have under my name, and fought for my rights and my needs. Fought for you and your happiness and our freedom…until I succeeded. I broke ties with them." 

Hearing his words, Baekhyun's blood froze up, shock evident on his face, tears stopping for a second, because this was not what he had wanted or thought of.

" You did what?" 

Feeling hands cup his cheeks, he looked up to meet Chanyeol's eyes, the softness of them making him cry again. 

" Listen, I love you so, so much, I always did, and I know I will never find someone else who will mean so much to me like you do. Baekhyun, you are my absolute everything. They never treated me like a son, more like a work partner throughout my whole life. Yes, they are my parents, but Baekhyun, they don't make me as happy as you do, they don't love and appreciate me as much as you do," the taller explained, making the smaller sob so loud that his throat started to hurt. 

" Baekhyun, baby, we're young, and we're stupid. Making mistakes is part of it, but you were always the one thing I did right. They almost ruined us twice, I won't let this happen a third time. And now, we're awaiting our first baby. Yes, it's so damn early for that, but you know what? I don't care. As long as I'm with you, I know everything will work out" 

" You're so sappy. I love you so much, Chanyeol," Baekhyun cried, his heart beating frantically from the taller's words, overflowing feelings making him choke on his own words. On the one hand he thought this could end way differently than it actually did, on the other he also had thought that Chanyeol maybe wasn't ready for this.

Feeling both of the taller's hands come down to cup his small bump, he gasped softly, just wanting to burst with love and adoration. Such a simple thing, yet enough to calm him down and make him realize that everything could and would be okay.

Chanyeol truly always had been the one for him, and it proved to be right because he loved him with all his edges and problems.

" This, this is not a mistake as well. It's...It's our baby. We will be able to do this, Baek. I have my savings, I'm almost finished with college. This will work out, okay? We will work out." 

With quivering lips, he frantically started to nod his head, leaning closer to be able to hug Chanyeol like he used to, face hiding in his neck. 

" It's still so early, Chanyeol. I'm so scared, but I just want you to be with me. I want to be with you," he said, eyes closed but the sudden hand stroking over his back made him look back up. 

" Not a hurdle we wouldn't be able to master. Look what we went through already, my love." 

Still sobbing like crazy due to being completely overwhelmed by his words, the situation and the meaning of them, he didn't know how to react or what to say, instead looking into the taller's eyes. 

" And now you're pregnant. Not what I expected to happen so soon, and we're definitely inexperienced, but it makes me so immensely happy that I can't even control my emotions. Baekhyun, I want you so much, everyday, every night and every minute of this goddamn amazing life I'm allowed to share with you."

Pushing his finger against Chanyeol's lips, he made him stop talking, giggling at the way his eyes grew impossibly bigger, before speaking up. 

" You're the first one I truly honestly love, Yeol, and I don't think I will ever stop doing that. If you say we will be able to do this together, I trust you. I always did-" 

Not able to finish his sentence, he was taken aback by the sudden kiss against his lips, small pecks pressed all over them and making him melt into the touches. So soft and yet so familiar, craving more and more. 

" We will be able to do this, everything you want. I promise you this, and I promise little bean," he proposed making Baekhyun smile softly and cuddle into his arms, seeking the warmth he had missed. 

" Okay Chanyeollie...Gosh, I'm so happy. So happy that it's _you_ I fell in love with." 

Feeling the smile against his skin when Chanyeol pressed a kiss onto his neck, he sighed in content knowing that everything somehow fell in place, not the easy way but a way they both decided to take. 

One they would never regret. 

* * *

Easy was a far fetched word for their situation. 

Due to Baekhyun's pregnancy, he honestly no longer wanted to live on campus, their room too small for another person, which ultimately made him move in with Chanyeol. 

His apartment was close to their college, spacious and private. It made the smaller feel comfortable and safe, but most importantly good about their decision. 

Chanyeol once had told him it had been a gift from his parents, his own place for when he would decide to move out. 

The interior was actually quite calming because everything was decorated in warm colors. Their now shared bedroom having a king sized bed and tons of pillows for when Baekhyun started to have back pain again. 

It didn't take the smaller long to get used to everything, Chanyeol always being by his side if it wasn't for his games or exams, showering him with the love he deserved. 

Actually, both of them were head over heels for each other, and Baekhyun knew his own feelings were even stronger due to his hormones. 

At one point they told Sehun as well, knowing it would be pretty hard to hide it, and both of them were delighted knowing the taller one completely supported them, because it truly was not easy at all. 

Being pregnant was a blessing and curse at the same time. 

There were days when Baekhyun didn't even want to get out of bed, nauseating feeling in his stomach not settling and instead getting worse, yet his lover was always there to comfort him.

On top of that, they had to clean the unused guest room, Chanyeol deciding to take it upon him and paint the walls as well as build a crib.

It made the smaller's heart pound heavy in his chest, love overflowing while watching the taller do this for them, for their baby. 

And one of those days Baekhyun woke up to a loud bang. It made him shoot up into a sitting position, realizing the bed was empty and worry immediately made itself present.

Trying several times to get out of bed, it worked after what felt like hours, his swollen feet waddling over their wooden floor towards where the noise came from.

Still more than drowsy, the smaller rubbed his eyes, pajamas way too big on his frame due to them being Chanyeol's, while he searched for his lover.

Only to find him in their baby's room, sitting cross-legged on the floor while painting parts of the crib. It was a sight to behold and he honestly didn’t want to disturb him, which is why he walked downstairs instead to prepare breakfast. 

He was feeling extremely hungry anyways and he knew the other probably didn't even have a snack before starting to work, making a small smile play on his lips.

Chanyeol was perfect in every sense of way, so caring and loving that Baekhyun sometimes feared to suffocate on it.

Truly the only one to make him go insane.

Taking his time to prepare sandwiches, he also brewed coffee and placed everything on a tablet, carefully walking upstairs again and he had to admit, with his belly growing, his balance also started to get worse but he was glad when he arrived safely. 

Chanyeol was still sitting there, drying the sweat on his forehead and accidentally swiping the paint on it.

It led to Baekhyun giggling cutely and gaining the attention of the taller, his eyes wandering from his bump to the food and then stopping at his face.

" Breakfast?"

Nodding his head, he walked over to where he sat, in order to hand the tablet over and also sit down, even though it definitely was a hurdle he had to take, in the end receiving help from his partner who gently held his waist.

" It's getting harder to move properly, thank you," he smiled, lips finding Chanyeol’s cheek before he pointed at the food, " sandwiches and coffee. You silly head, you need to eat something. "

" I woke up early and had this spark of inspiration, flowers for the crib. What do you think?"

Letting his eyes gaze over to the wood that laid in front of them, his mouth opened in surprise, small roses painted everywhere and it ultimately led him to stare at his lover.

" Are you crazy? This is insane and so detailed. Chanyeol-ah, oh my God. "

" Only the best for our baby." 

And hearing those words truly did something to him, the thought of the pregnancy making itself known once again.

" Our baby…" he mumbled, hand subconsciously wandering onto his bump to stroke over it, soon met by Chanyeol’s own hand.

" Let's have breakfast and then we can draw some roses together, would you like that?"

Grinning like a fool, he moved closer until he was able to kiss his lover's lips, lingering against them for several seconds before moving away once more.

" I would love that."

~

Going to classes, nonetheless, was one of the things Baekhyun actually struggled with because he couldn't avoid weird glances. It felt like he was constantly being watched, his belly growing with every passing day. 

Nevertheless, he was strong enough for them both, having decided to attend classes as long as possible. 

Chanyeol, on the other hand, would graduate this year, even before their baby's birth and he was truly busy with finishing up his exams as well as applications for different jobs, dreaming of being a sports analytic one day. 

It made the whole situation even more real because this was really happening, they would be parents soon enough. 

Crossing the five months mark, the weird eating habits finally stopped, throwing up as well. Still, the smaller started to have back pain, swollen feet and a constant need for sex. 

It was terrible because it ended up tiring both of them out, but at the same time, it brought them even closer, soft laughter shared in the middle of the night. 

Today, though, was the day of their football team's final game, Chanyeol being more than nervous about his performance, Baekhyun rooting for him in the crowd. 

Kyungsoo was with him, like always, his hand almost automatically placed on Baekhyun's bump, being addicted to the feeling. 

" They are going to win, don't worry, Baek." 

" I know, I believe that as well…It's just that Chanyeol was so nervous this morning, he didn't even want to eat," Baekhyun said worriedly, his hand stroking his belly in order to calm down. 

" He's not giving himself a break, isn't he?" 

Turning his head to be able to look at his best friend, he bit his lip, softly nodding at his words. 

" He's not. Yeollie wants to do everything at once. He's working on our little bean's room, studying for his finals and has been working out for today. I just want to see him let loose of those emotions," Baekhyun admitted, heart dropping the slightest bit. 

" Chanyeol is a good man. He will also be a good father, Baek. I'm honestly glad that it seems to work so well, and just know, me and Jongin will always be there if something happens." 

Smiling at his words and squeezing his hand briefly, they soon focused on the game, and it was truly nerve wrecking, but watching Chanyeol score the final point for their win brought tears to his eyes. 

His lover almost broke down on the field because of the happiness, which ultimately made the smaller carefully get up and waddle downstairs onto the field, his huge tummy making it harder to be fast. 

But it was rewarding when he saw Chanyeol turning towards him, brightest grin plastered on his face before gently cupping Baekhyun's face to plant a kiss on his lips. One of those that made him crave for more, love so intense that he actually had to hold onto the other's shirt to not fall over.

" Hello baby number two," he whispered before touching his bump, making the smaller huff his breath and pout. 

" What about me?" 

" Oh, I almost forgot baby number one, hello beautiful." 

Smiling at his words, the smaller leaned up on his tiptoes to give him another kiss, not caring about the hollering in the background. 

One that definitely was coming from Sehun. 

" Chanyeol, I'm so proud of you, you were wonderful!" he whispered, only for him to hear, hands now holding his boyfriend's hips, gently stroking over his trikot. 

" Only because you were in the crowd, watching me." 

Snorting at his answer, the smaller carefully slapped Chanyeol's chest once while mumbling a small 'you sap', soon cuddling into his broad chest as good as possible with his bump in the way, breathing in the weak scent of his woody perfume. 

~

Not only was today the last day for the taller's games, but it was also the first day for their first doctor's visit together. 

Five months along meant they would soon be able to know the baby's gender, excitement in both their bodies while getting ready at home. Sure there was an after party, but it was nothing they needed especially when much bigger news were waiting for them. 

Sitting on the bed while Chanyeol was drying his hair from his shower, Baekhyun played with his phone, giggling at the way he constantly won before suddenly feeling hands on his feet, making him gasp. 

" Park Chanyeol, don't scare me like that." 

" Hm, sorry," the taller replied, sitting down on the floor before gently starting to massage Baekhyun's toes and ankles," do they still hurt as much as yesterday?" 

" No, it really helps when you do this actually." 

Closing his eyes at the feeling, he felt his legs shiver from the way he was able to relax, soft moan slipping from his mouth, ready to doze off. Until Chanyeol suddenly jumped up, leaning over him with a mean grin. 

" You shouldn't moan like that or else I'm going to eat you up." 

" Idiot…It was just a foot massage! I can't help that it feels good," he giggled, blush creeping over his cheeks before his boyfriend carefully helped him up. 

" Enough flirting for now, it's time to see our little bean." 

~

Clinics always had something cold about them, Baekhyun seriously only visiting if he really felt terrible. 

This time, be that as it may, he was bubbling with excitement, tightly holding onto Chanyeol's hand while they waited in one of the rooms. 

His feet were dangling down over the floor because of the height of the bed, his boyfriend sitting on a chair beside him. 

" So tell me, what do you think little bean will be?" he asked, smiling softly at his lover who played with his fingers. There were some nights they had shared and talked about this, yet nothing could compare to the current moment.

" Honestly speaking, I think it's a girl." 

" A girl? Oh cute," Baekhyun giggled, about to continue before the doctor joined them, shaking both their hands and helping the smaller to lay down. 

He was already used to this procedure, but the cool gel still made him shiver, reaching for Chanyeol's hand to hold onto it. 

" So let's see…." 

Curiously staring at the screen, Baekhyun honestly couldn't make out anything until there was suddenly their little bean, much bigger than before. For a minute he thought he could make out it's feet, but he had to admit that was harder than it seemed.

Chanyeol continued to hold his hand, his eyes practically glued to whatever the doctor was doing, lips in the hold of his teeth, something he tended to do when he was focused.

" Hmm...Well, congratulations, Mr. Byun and Mr. Park. You're having a girl, healthy and growing steadily," she announced, turning the volume up for her little heartbeat to resonate in the room, making both of them tear up. 

It wasn't unusual for Chanyeol to cry, but it was indeed new for him to do it in front of others, ultimately leading Baekhyun to sit up and hug his boyfriend close. 

" It's a girl, Chanyeollie." 

Feeling him nod against his neck, he giggled, silently thanking the doctor who went out for some vitamin prescription, leaving them alone. 

" She's already my little angel," the taller sniffled, leading Baekhyun to tear up as well, always having trusted Chanyeol when it came to their decision, but now that it got closer to the due date, it surely felt different. 

" Hm, you're going to be a great daddy," he replied, softly kissing the top of the taller's head before drying the tears that were dropping onto his boyfriend's cheeks. 

They were only able to talk with each other again when they were out of the office and walking back home. Hand in hand, ultrasound picture in a small folder. 

" So little bean is a princess, Yeol." 

" She is. I can't wait to finally meet her, you know? It feels unreal," the other said, his huge body shaking with happiness. 

" Me too. It's still some time, but I'm more than ready." 

And it turned out to be a great evening as well, simply because the mood between them was so light and soft.

Stepping out of the shower with Chanyeol's help, he giggled cutely when the taller tickled him while drying him off, the situation so intimate yet not leading to something more.

The heat of the warm water made the mirror foggy and he knew his cheeks were glowing red, but it was comfortable, especially because they were together. 

" There you go, all dried up. Now come here and let me wrap you into your bathrobe"

Listening to Chanyeol’s words, he waddled over to where he was standing, pushing his arms through the holes and biting his lip while watching the taller carefully make a knot over his bump. 

And he didn't know why but it made him suddenly feel so needy, his hands gently cupping the other's face to press their lips together, a small whimper leaving his mouth.

" Babe, are you horny?" Chanyeol asked and there was no joke in his voice, because by now both of them were used to his sudden urges, the sex always being mindblowing to the point Baekhyun felt like passing out.

This time though, it was different. 

" No, I just need you " he replied, face hiding in the other's neck before he was carried to their bedroom, heart beating so fast that he couldn't hear anything else but that. 

Their bed was big and comfortable, and it made the smaller immediately cuddle into his pillow before he realized he still had to change into different clothes.

Yet, Chanyeol was quicker once again, already having underwear and pajamas in his hands and signaling Baekhyun to take off the bathrobe, which he did. 

" I really don't deserve you" he mumbled, hips moving up slightly to make it easier for the other, before he felt his lover's hands on his thighs.

" Babe, you deserve a lot okay? Also, you can barely move properly and I don't want you to hurt yourself. Let me take care of those things for you" 

Giving in and nodding his head, he soon was in his pajamas, with Chanyeol moving under the blanket as well and making him cuddle into his side almost immediately. 

After all, that was the only position he was comfortable with at the moment. 

Hands soon found his bump and stroked over it in circles, a smile playing on his lips before he yawned. 

"Let's sleep, you need some rest, she needs some rest as well" Chanyeol whispered before pressing his lips against Baekhyun’s head, and it made him doze off so quickly. 

The comforting feeling of his lover holding him, helping him drift off to sleep.

~

Every good thing brought along something bad though, and Baekhyun realized that the moment he didn't fit into his clothes anymore. 

It wasn't like it was a huge surprise that this could happen, yet it was devastating to go through his jeans and shirts, having to put them aside.

And it was just his luck that Chanyeol found him sitting on their bedroom floor, big tears rolling down his cheeks, making it seem way more dramatic than it actually was.

" Baby?? Hey what happened?" The taller said, carefully kneeling down to look at Baekhyun and it made the smaller sniff his nose.

" You know, I thought this would take some more time, but little bean is growing rapidly and...Yeol I don't fit into my stuff anymore "

It was actually adorable how he sat there, only in his underwear, the big bump making him look even softer while his hands were fumbling with a sweater.

" Oh Baek, come here"

Being engulfed by the other's gentle hold, he immediately nuzzled into his neck, bathing in the way the other stroked over his back in calm circles, before his face was cupped and warm thumbs dried his tears.

" I know this is a terrible realization but baby, you can wear my stuff okay? And for pants, let's go buy some leggings and pajama ones. Who cares what you look like? As long as you're comfortable" Chanyeol whispered close to his ear, making the smaller's heartbeat quicken.

He knew he was right and he also knew his hormones were going crazy, which is why he nudged their noses together and gave him a wet kiss on his plump lips, a small smile plastered on his face.

" I love you" Baekhyun replied, giggling when he saw Chanyeol acting like his heart had been shot and that was one of those moments he truly realized, that would be the man he would want to marry one day.

The only person who always had his back and loved him for who he was. No matter how much chaos they went through.

~

After that day, time truly felt like flying by. 

Months passed without any problem, Baekhyun taking his vitamins and eating everything he was allowed to, growing chubbier but also happier. 

It was actually crazy how fast they got used to their new life, their friends and Baekhyun's family supporting them to no end, always being there when something was wrong or they needed help. 

Especially Kyungsoo who seemed more attached to their unborn baby than Baekhyun and Chanyeol themselves. 

It got to the point where Jongin had to ask if he was allowed to knock him up as well, earning a slap to his head and making all of them laugh. Nevertheless, for the smaller, it was stressful sometimes because the closer he got to his due date, the more he worried about his own body and their baby. 

Maybe it was a natural reaction, but sometimes he truly hated to wake up in the middle of the night, fear obvious and leading to Chanyeol rocking him back to sleep. 

And even though they had talked about it several times by now, it didn't stop Baekhyun from waking up again, drenched in sweat, heart beating extremely fast.

He knew stress was not good for their baby, but simultaneously it was rather difficult to calm down.

His lover was laying on the other side of the bed, back turned towards him and he looked so peaceful, still the sudden pain in his stomach made him cry out.

Not extremely loud but enough to wake Chanyeol up.

" Hmmm...Baby? Are you okay?" He asked, voice raspy and obviously sleepy, yet Baekhyun shook his head, fear taking over.

" I had a nightmare, Yeol. I'm so scared and it hurts so much."

" Calm down, I'm here. Tell me, where does it hurt?" 

Hiccuping once, he took a deep breath, honestly not wanting to have a panic attack, before guiding his lover's hand onto his bump, gently pressing into the lower part.

" Here, it hurts here" he said, letting Chanyeol gently massage the spot he showed him, before slowly calming down again, or at least trying to.

" Everything is okay, you're not bleeding right?" 

Watching the taller move the blanket to the side, to make sure there was no blood, he leaned into the hand that soon gently touched his cheek, stroking his hot skin.

" My little worry wart, I think it's the stress. Does it still hurt?"

Shaking his head, he stretched his legs away from his body, trying to get more comfortable while seeing that Chanyeol was watching him.

Honestly always keeping an eye on him.

" It's okay now, your massage helped. I'm sorry I woke you up Chanyeol-ah, " Baekhyun said, pouting the slightest but soon smiling when the other kissed his head.

" No need to apologize. Health comes first, always. And I'm here for you."

Biting his lip in thought, he reached for the blanket once more to cover them both, eyes quite literally begging the taller to cuddle and his wish was fulfilled.

-

Male pregnancies were risky, it was no secret, but the smaller truly tried everything to not think about it, happy that he had someone like Chanyeol by his side. 

Chanyeol who successfully graduated when the time came and was able to land a big job at a sports channel, making him cry that night. 

Baekhyun, on the other hand, had successfully switched into his third year of college, the last half of his pregnancy ending up studying from home. 

His bump grew abnormally big, unable to even see his own feet anymore, but it was worth it and it started to be their habit to press their hands on his belly every time little bean decided to kick him. 

Actually, the first time that happened Baekhyun was in utter shock. More or less.

It weirdly enough hurt only the slightest, but it happened while he was completely relaxed, eyes fixed on the movie he was watching, which made him yelp and sit up.

Well, try to sit up.

Hands immediately touched his bump to feel it again, his head not really believing that it happened before he felt it, a small kick against his belly.

Seriously trying to stay calm he took a deep breath, head turning back towards their kitchen, where Chanyeol was currently cooking.

" Chanyeol, please come here. _Now_."

Watching the literal fear in the taller's eyes, he wasn't even able to explain it when the other rushed over, dropped on his knees and searched every part of Baekhyun's body for any sort of discomfort. 

" What's wrong? Are you in pain? Do we need to call a ambulance "

" Shh..Yeollie, give me your hand "he replied, carefully leading his big palm onto his bump to press it against the spot where he felt it, when it happened again. 

And it was a sight to behold, because his lover started crying from one second to the other, his lips pressing against Baekhyun’s belly over and over again. 

" Hello my baby, it's your daddy. You're such a good girl, hm? Are you taking care of your mommy?" 

Giggling and crying at his words as well, he didn't expect it to be this emotional all of a sudden, but he ended up adoring it, his own hands finding the other's to gently stroke over them.

" She is such a calm baby, Chanyeol-ah and she wanted to say hi to us" he said, adoring the moment they shared just as much as his tall boyfriend before he was engulfed in a hug.

Strong arms gently rocking him back and forth.

" This is everything I've ever wanted and I'm so happy to be able to share this with you, Baekhyun-ah. " 

" Me too, _me too_."

~

It was mesmerizing and sweet, with Chanyeol maturing even more over time. Growing to be a man that was capable of a lot of things. 

Baekhyun was truly the happiest with the taller and he knew that would never change. Not when he loved him so damn much. 

At one point they had finished renovating the one room in their apartment that had been empty, the taller having spent hours on making it perfect. 

It was romantic and sweet but most importantly, special. Knowing his lover anticipated their baby's arrival just as much. 

That was also why one night when Baekhyun woke up with harsh pain in the lower part of his abdomen, Chanyeol immediately woke up, sitting close to him to touch his belly. 

" W-What is wrong?? Is it..Is it time?" 

" Yeollie, it hurts so much," Baekhyun groaned, holding his huge bump softly before furrowing his eyebrows, tears involuntarily streaming down his face.

All before suddenly he felt like he wetted his pants, eyes shooting open, cheeks heating up in embarrassment. 

" Yeol, I think my water broke." 

" WHAT?" the taller yelled, immediately rushing to his side to pull away the blanket and reveal the wet spot on the mattress. 

It was funny how he panicked more than Baekhyun himself, still managing to look handsome with his hair sticking up and his pajamas being wrinkled. 

" It's okay...Just grab the suitcase, help me up and let’s go down to the street. We need to call a cab," the smaller said, the calmness in person, even though it hurt immensely every time he moved. 

Everything happened faster than he thought it would and before he knew it he was laying on a hospital bed, pushing and pushing while screaming his lungs out. 

Probably crushing Chanyeol's fingers in the process because he was holding his hand a bit too hard. 

It was a harsh pain, he knew it would be, but experiencing it, it truly felt worse than he imagined. The lower half of his body started to feel numb. 

Chanyeol had immediately called their friends and Baekhyun's family when they had arrived, knowing they were probably waiting outside for them. 

But that was his smallest concern right now. 

The pain grew bigger every time he screamed his lungs out, the doctor motivating him to do it again and again. 

Nevertheless after what felt like hours, they finally heard loud wails in the room. A small baby being cleaned up and brought over to where he was tiredly leaning against Chanyeol's shoulder. 

His body just having gone slack and immediately seeking the warmth of his lover, sweaty bangs covering his eyes while his legs were shaking heavily, glad when his focus was suddenly on someone completely different. 

" You did so amazingly, my love. Look, that's our little angel." 

Bursting out in tears, he reached for the small baby, watching her sleep while holding her close to his chest, his lover leaning over them both and kissing her forehead softly, eyes glistening with tears. 

It was obvious that they both were tired but happy. So extremely happy. Tears were weak at this point, the tiredness far stronger than anything else. 

Just being able to hold their little wonder and touch her felt unreal and Baekhyun seriously appreciated every minute of it. 

Days before that, they had spent thinking about a name, the struggle seriously being real, but now that they both were staring down at her face, big ears resembling Chanyeol's a whole lot, it didn't take them long to look at each other. 

Trust and understanding in both of their eyes before giggling softly and deciding to greet her for the first time. 

" Welcome to the world, Eunjung. We already love you so much." 

~

Of course, he had been more than drained, but Baekhyun still welcomed everyone into his room once he had been moved, watching Kyungsoo and Sehun with red swollen eyes, his mom not even hiding that she was crying like a baby. 

Sure, for a short second the smaller felt bad and guilty, seeing how none of Chanyeol's family had been present, but the moment Baekhyun's dad engulfed his lover into a hug, he knew everything was okay.

They were okay. 

If his own family did not want this and specifically Chanyeol's happiness, Baekhyun was more than relieved that his own parents cared for his lover like he was their own son. It made his heart swell and his eyes glistening with new hot tears, loving the fact that finally every seemed to work out.

And of course he let them come closer, carefully moving the pink blanket, that was wrapped around their daughter's face, to the side, revealing her sleeping face and messy strands of soft hair.

" Oh my God, she's so cute. She looks exactly like Chanyeol," his mom whispered, making the smaller nod in agreement, while he watched her stroke their baby's warm cheek.

" Look at her ears, they are just as big" he smiled, careful not to wake her up before Kyungsoo sat down beside him. 

" The lips are exactly yours, though, Baek. So pouty." 

" She's beautiful and so damn perfect," Chanyeol interrupted, eyes swollen from all the crying before sitting down on the bed and kissing Baekhyun's head. Lips gently pressing against his hair several times, before the smaller looked up tiredly, giving him a real kiss on his mouth. One that he knew everyone saw, but he couldn't care less when it made him feel so alive.

It truly was like a dream, all of the people he was close to being there with them, supporting them. A fantasy that sneaked itself into the real world, finally giving both of them the thing they deserved. 

Happiness. 

One that promised to never leave them again. 

* * *

_One Year Later_

Time suddenly seemed like their friend when they got to spend it with their little angel. 

Eunjung grew up fast, still being as small as ever but livelier. Beautiful like a precious porcelain doll, behavior like an angel. 

Of course there were nights they had to stay up, drained and tired, with her crying her eyes out because her teeth started to hurt. It was worth it though, because this was what made them grow closer.

Overall she was the sweetest baby ever, and she definitely had a specific liking when it came to Chanyeol. But who was Baekhyun to judge that, when his boyfriend truly was just so perfect. Handsome, gentle, caring and a loving father.

Baekhyun had a hard time losing weight again after the pregnancy and at one point he gave up, simply because a little more meat on his bones made him feel good and he knew for a fact that his boyfriend adored it. Because they shared nights of pleasure, where the other had squeezed and kissed every part of his body, over and over again telling him how much he loved him and how crazy he was able to make Chanyeol feel.

Maybe all the trouble had been worth it, after all this was the life they were living now. Together and happy.

~

" Yeol, baby? I forgot Eunjung's socks. Can you grab those when you come outside?" 

" Yes babe!" 

Sitting on the hotel veranda that faced the ocean, Baekhyun closed his eyes when the fresh air hit his face, making his hair to be a fluffy mess. 

Their daughter sitting on his lap and dozing quietly. She was leaning against his chest, chubby hands holding onto the shirt he was wearing. 

Her soft brown hair swaying with the wind, and her dimples popping up every time she breathed in. 

It was their first vacation ever, and they immediately had booked it after Baekhyun had graduated successfully. 

Now, he was writing books and articles for a living. It wasn't an easy job, but it was something he enjoyed and it made it possible to work from home, staying with their daughter and taking care of her. 

Chanyeol, on the other hand, started to be one of the nicest and most seen sport analysts on TV, absolutely loving his profession and the way it made him feel. 

It was also the reason why they were here now, actually celebrating their success by giving themselves some time away from it, their focus being on the calmness as well as on their daughter.

Not one day had passed where they didn't show her completely raw and overwhelming love. She quite literally made their lives better, if not perfect and now more than ever, they felt like a real family. 

Hearing the soft footsteps behind him, he opened his eyes to see Chanyeol leaning down over him, gently kissing his lips. 

" I have the socks." 

" Great. Can you put them on?" he asked before smooching their daughter's head. 

" Eunjung, look who's here. Dada!" 

Watching her open her eyes and immediately smile at the taller tiredly, he had to grin as well before moving her to sit on his leg, Chanyeol kneeling in front of them both. 

" Daddy always takes good care of his princess, hm? We don't want you to have cold feet," Chanyeol playfully said while putting on her socks and tickling her tiny feet, making her giggle in the process.

" You're definitely her favorite, Yeol." 

Gently handing her over once the taller was done, Baekhyun got up to stretch himself and point at the sand. 

" You wanna go play with her? I will join you in a bit. I need to briefly go to the bathroom." 

" Sure babe. Take your time," Chanyeol said, before leaving for the beach and just the picture of them both together made him all giddy and happy. 

The taller being so soft with their small daughter in his arms, pulling on his hair. 

~

It really didn't take him long, but when he walked back out, a whole sand castle was right in front of the veranda. 

Chanyeol laying on the sand, humming some lullaby, with Eunjung sleeping on his chest. Tiny fists holding onto his lover's shirt. 

" Did my two babies already give up?" 

" It's time for her nap, isn't it? She seems sleepy," Chanyeol said and met Baekhyun's gaze, leading him to nod his head. 

" Yeah it is, how did it go, though? Did you have fun?" 

Watching his lover nod his head, he kneeled down and sat on the sand as well, admiring the small castle. 

" Take a closer look, Baek. She gave it her all." 

Giggling at his words, he crawled over and did what he was being told, breath clogging up in his throat when he saw the small ring at the top, glistening because of the sun. 

He didn't quite know what to say or do other than to try and calm down his shaking hands, seeing Chanyeol sit up slowly and reach for the ring. 

" I thought about this for quite some time, Baekhyun. We went through a lot of chaos and drama, broke up, got back together, but there was never a day where I didn't stop loving you. Where I didn't care for you. And then, little bean happened, and it just felt like my love grew even bigger. I don't know how to describe it other than that you're most definitely my soulmate.”

" C-Chanyeol," Baekhyun sobbed, not able to say anything more than that. His heart beating so rapidly that he feared he would faint any second. 

" I wanted to do this earlier, wanted to finally make you mine officially, but a lot of things happened, and it just didn't feel right. I wanted a stable life for us, wanted you to feel good and happy. Now, however, that's a whole other situation, and I want to ask you, will you give me the honor of being allowed to marry you?" 

Nodding his head frantically, he scooted over, not caring about the sand rubbing his sensitive skin before hugging Chanyeol tightly, careful to not hurt their daughter. 

" Yes, a thousand times, yes. Oh my god."

" Really??" Chanyeol asked, voice equally as shaky, and it made Baekhyun lean up to kiss his lips, long and soft. Over and over again until the giggles woke up their daughter, Eunjung staring up at them with curiosity. 

" Yes, Chanyeol. I love you. I want to marry you." 

Sitting there while grinning at each other like the fools they were, it was beautiful how the ring reflected against his finger once it was slipped on. A perfect fit and the most gorgeous thing he had ever seen. 

Eunjung was now sitting on Chanyeol's arm, Baekhyun halfway into the lap of his fiancé while kissing their daughters face, holding her tiny hand in between his own. 

Right then and there, they knew some rough, fun, beautiful and intense years were awaiting them, but the thing that truly kept them going and motivated them was the thought of them experiencing everything together. 

From now on till forever. 

Simply being led by love and trust. 

Trust to be each other's anchor for many more years to come. 

Trust to never leave each other's side. 

Trust to make this life worthwhile. 

  
~ The End ~

  
  
  
  


  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Did you enjoy it?  
> If you did I am really honestly happy about it and I hope we met each other again somewhere, sometime <3


End file.
